Writing a letter ...

At work now, and thus no mood to work at all so i wrote her a letter ..

Hi,

Heh, has no mood to work, my mind is all about you.
The time I spend with u, is something which I am looking forward everyday.
But I m a human too, I wana be dote and love and someone to rely on when I m stress, tired and etc.
Not asking allot but expecting the least of consideration you can give it to me.

Knowing u too well what u get angry for, what thing u don’t like, that is why I avoid doing it even at the means of costing my freedom and etc. U never say it (maybe that is how u feel) but the way u put it show it very clearly.
Example, if I never pick up your phone, its like gona cause another quarrel to happen and worrying u that u be unhappy, I try to avoid things like this to happen.

In life, I don’t know how u understand it but all I can say it is kind of wrong, way of approach and attitude, also the way u r seeing things. But u r not totally hopeless, I told u before, u choose to escape or well avoid to protect yourself in a way, this is wat u tink, but end up u r hurting yourself in a way too and taking away certain happiness and not cherish of what u have, u always demand and thus making it sound like always not enough.

To you, yesterday I may say allot of things that u think I sound bad, but what I say is facts and always take things positive and prove it to me or others that u can do it .. and making your life more worthwhile .. making u more capable to handle things and etc.

At times we have to reflect the things we do, if u ever do have dreams and something u wana achieve, then u have to change for the better to suit the environment and know how to be tactical and adaptable.

U might have your own way, yur way of seeing things, but it take no harm to listen and analyze.

Ever think why u have so many problems or ever think you things is not going smoothly. And why people keep asking me to leave you. Because of the way you portrait to others as an arrogant, bossy, proud and etc .. to u, u may not tink this way, third party always has the clearer view. In work we have to learn to outsmart them. Things don’t just work by showing working OT everyday and etc. But personal skill is important too.
To me because I know u and coz I love u,so advising u, not cause I m complaining, if not I would not spent time to write or to sms. I wana see my dear u to progress further, I wana be a pillar for u.

I know u too well for your temple and the way u handle things, but still there is no point being so head strong and self center. Saying all this not because I wan u back badly, even though I do hope. But the main point is to clarify and make u understand, take it as someone who is supporting u quietly at one side who dun hope for any return, but for someone whom he love dearly. Do it for yourself or be it for your family, not for me, when things happen, we have to be tactical to handle it.

Take your surrounding people and what u see in your daily life as example. If u do feel the same way and know how to say them about their attitude and etc, have u ever think that u r doing this also without knowing it.

Yes in love, I can give in to u everything, but in life to progress and for integrity, that should not be the way.

I been wondering .. and I don’t deny I really do love u, and everything I do, I do it willingly for u.. always wana share with u wat I know and never have the intention to hide unless it’s a while lie and for the seek of certain ego.

I really feel like dropping tears writing this letter .. but somehow I have to face it and I really don’t feel good and finding things to make me occupy coz I know myself too well, I might end up duno drunk where or doing foolish thing, love always being my blind spot.

I duno wat to say .. wondering should I hope for it ..i really duno anything for now .. but I do know one thing I love u and for the best of u, I respect whatever decision and again hopping things goes smoothly for u ..

Take a min to read it and try to understand … and well don’t anyhoe trust ppl, also muz take care, when u r sick then do wat u need to get better, dun be stubborn. Avoid heatly things, smoke less …slp early, a goal and dreams can only be achieve with positive mindset .. and to improve to gain the respect and acknowledge from people.

Till then I guess I will MIA for awhile … to collect back my feeling or watever, and maybe u may say not my business or wat, but I guess that fulfill what u have say to me, not to harass u .. lol wat a bad word to use .. I m just a fool who believe in love …

Love u always now and then .. take a look at our gorillanmonkey.blogspot.com ya .. whatever is there is all for u to read, I do that blog also for us .. and now it no longer matter …

*Hmm Emo time .. lol

My WG Profile ...

The best and most beautiful things in the world can't be seen, not touched... but are felt in the heart.

When u love someone, I guess i just don't love her for her cute smile.. i just don't love her for the way she holds me nor the way she kiss me .. i just don't love her for how she make me happy. Or how she speaks my name. its not about how she make love to me . Loving her just for who she is..Its what she does good or bad i just take her as she is.. My heart did not beat for her for a reason.it just loved her ..Like that,,, Cuz its not a just one reason nor three or four its just many tiny things making who she is..just love her for who she is....

*The above is for her
*The below is hope she understand the point

Success is all about growing oneself, learning thru experince and strive for it.
USING EVERY ENCOUNTER AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO EVALUATE, COACH AND BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE.

Where success is concerned, people are not measured in inches, or pounds, or college degrees, or family background; they are measured by the size of their thinking. How big do we think determines the size of our accomplishments.

The real test of a speaker is not did he stand straight or did he make any mistakes in grammar, but rather did the audience get the points he wanted to put across.

*The below is what i feel in Me

It is not how much you do, but how
much LOVE you put in the doing… <--- this is what loving her means to me.

The purpose of a relationship is to support each other, through times of ups and downs … so in a way, I try my best to inspire myself, so that I can be a pillar to my love … an inspiring passage …

FreAking UpSET !!

Sigh .. whatever i do, i always have her in my heart, always wan the best for her .. but she is just too hard to communicate, always taking things into her own hand and assume it.

Don't know how to make her understand, or i guess i m having communication problem .. issit the way i put it or well the tone i sound it ... but never ever have the thoughts of what she assume ... i just hope she realize it and to take it negative as a positive feedback to improve.

Why can't the attitude be abit nicer and understand my good intention, i always wana be there for her but always turn to a deaf hear, i just wana be someone to be there to guide her, to protect her, to lend her my shoulder whenever she need it.

Whatever i say is all about life logic, what i went through and see ..

And everytime cause of some unhappiness, argument that causes the spark to happen.
When it can be a discussion to communicate.

Sigh .... still thought of giving her a surprise but well end up 99 days is a breakup day ...
I always been so thoughtful for her .. and i never ever complain or say anything .. but is all about third party point of view .. but what i told them is the say as what i told her, because i see her good side and nicest side .. her adorable her smile that hang me on .. the action she do and the small changes which i can see it ...

But bad thing is .. her moral education, character issues, but i never wanted her to change to another person, just wan her to realize and improve to be a better person for her own seek and future to be ...

The love i shower her is not even equal or to make her understand all this ?
I m really a failure to be ...

Somehow or rather i m loSt ... freaking upset about it .... i m too native at the end of the day to believe in love ....

I just wana her to know, i meant well, if i do sound bad, i guess i m sorry .. i just care and concern too much .. and to love to lose it make me haywire ...

Love U .. i mean it when every time i say this and kiss u to tell u this ... all my promises i never meant to break it .. or even to dishonor it ... but ...... i guess i am not good enough to touch u then ...

Sigh ...