M i lost ....

Been awhile i blog ... somehow recently i feel lost, and i choose not to bother with anything .. something is amiss ...

B had been nice ... but somehow i feel and i think .. is she really happy ..deep down m thinking am i the one or am i really been so demanding ... will she be the one ? But no matter what, i can't bear to hurt her in a way ...

Work not going well recently ... and allot of stuff came running into my mind .. and some stuff which i have leave it for awhile, need to be dug up and solve it too ... and i told myself i being too irresponsible towards certain stuff.. and how many more years can i leave it there and how many more years can i afford to run away from it ..

I sit down now and really did some thinking, can't help feeling emo, thinking what is my direction now, where do i see myself in a few years times... to a certain extend, i had not being really very honest to myself, and choose to hide it away, not to think about it... This days, i am not being very positive ... even my mask is coming off .. too tired ...mentality tired. Even too lazy to bother.

I been catching up with friends, close friends ... sisters ... one thing when I'm out with them, at least i feel very glad to have them around .. want them to be happy too ...

The me now is pausing somehow .. don't know where to move, don't know where to go, just wish to slp all the way ..not to think, not to bother ... wondering where is my drive now .. or i guess i just need to grumble for now ..feeling too stress let me wonder around too much .. think too much ...