Here i have to Say .. wondering ...

When things happen i guess, its not u nor me alone .. it takes 2 hand to clap ..

When you love someone and the relationship has to end in any reason that hurt us both, it has to end right at that moment and i guess i have to accept it and let go. don't have to ask questions why it happened; don't have to look for answers because i will see none, just selfishness. Things could get ugly if insist looking for it.

Don't try to change the course of fate, if it's meant to end then it has to end and let go i guess, a consolation prize to console myself in a way or selfishness, not used to it ...

I cannot patch the holes and loopholes that happened to both of us. There will always be grudges, blaming and comparison with each other. It's the way it is; its how letting go is. There could never be a nicer way to do it, but to let go and accept it. Only time could tell if all wounds have healed, things will fall in their right places at the right time. As the old adage goes "Time will heal all wounds" as old as it is, it is still true even to this time...

When it comes to relationships, it doesn't matter who is right or who is wrong. Yes, we will go through the process of fighting for our rights because we think we are right but at the end it really doesn't matter. Relationship lasts because it's meant to last, it will end if it's not meant to last and you have to let go if we don't know how to make it works together ...

All i have to say, i did love you and i feel bad now .. i will feel uneasy and recall when you're around .. i will look at our picture and say how sweet it is .. i will recall every moment u're around ... the cute you, your stupid face .. the way you talk back to me, copying what i say ... everything little single things you say .. you do ..thanks for being part of my life ... i guess that is the best way we have to part, please do remember what i have say before, whatever or how bad it is, its all for your own good ..look forward and don't be native to certain things .. and most important ..do take care ya ...

What is love to me .. in this era ...

When you love someone, you want to be with them. Not just be with them, but share everything with them. You have a great day at work and want to rush home and tell them every wonderful thing that has happened. You feel excited at the prospect of just being in their company, just being close to them isn't enough, you want to be a part of them, a part of their life forever. You can't stand the thought of being away from them yet, when you are, you still feel that ever-present bond that ties you together wherever you go. You can almost feel what they are feeling. You feel like, with a little bit of effort, you can see what they are seeing and think what they are thinking. It is almost as if you both can occupy each other's bodies with complete trust and harmony. That to me is love... to know what it takes to tie a guy down and to feel love .. in this era, there is not such things as fairy tales story, loving each other ever as forever to be .. it all takes lots of factor to be .. Guy somehow on the other hand can be a bit MCP (Male chauvinist Pig) .. is the same as want to tie a guy down, u need to fill his hunger ... but to a certain extend, to much MCP make the ger miserable somehow to be ...

Now, on the other side of the spectrum, there are a host of emotions that people confuse with love. One of the most common is lust. There is a difference between wanting to sleep with someone and wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone...

Being overly dependent on the other person is also not a part of love. Some people fall into the trap of thinking they love someone just because they are afraid to be alone. They have become dependent on the other person for so much that they don't know how to make it on their own, or they would much rather be with someone than no-one.

This leads to the old cliché, in order to love someone else, you must first learn to love yourself. Well, we've all heard that before, but what does it really mean? It means that you have to be confident in your own ability and your own judgement. You really have to like yourself and know what you have to offer another person. There is no way that you can love another person if you are so stuck in your own hang-ups that you bow down and propitiate to the other person. That is, you do anything they ask and agree with everything they say out of fear that they will love you less because you don't do those things... well who understand that anyway ..

I Guess We experience situations for a reason. Not every situation is going to be idyllic...

M getting pretty tired over lots of things in life that i'm struggling with .. and yet i can't find a motivation to it .. nor to share about it ... nor the facts m getting older each year ...
when your heart is calling you a traitor the second you think about it? and that make me feels i cant and i try that i did .. well honestly speaking the facts is i cant yet i am hiding to be .. hiding everything to be yet becoming another person ..feeling guilt and bad ...and struggling to pass by everyday ..

Well i guess not allot do understand ... well .. m selfish ..yet cant bear to be hard hearted ...

16th years of memory of my Mum

Hmm somehow this day bring back memories .. duno issit sad or well issit glad to be ... all along my dad will think i very the boxin, never once visit my mum once or rather this date to be.

Honestly speaking, she is always in my heart, till now i never forget abt her, never forget how she look, never forget the things she does for me and my sister.

Right here, all i can tell her is well am doing fine, trying to be better, and once sister is out, i will take care of her wholeheartedly.

I know i spend rather sometimes to be better, or rather wasted sometimes to be.
But today somehow wake me up abit, instead reminding me of something.

If you're up there watching me, i hope you do believe in me to see what i am doing .. love you always, my dearest mum.