THe 3rd weeks i being siGhing ...

Feeling rather moody for the past few weeks and i shut myself off, and sleep my day away .. sleeping for more then u can imagine .. siGh ...

At times i thought that i really had let go of the past, but sometimes i wished that something had never end. For the past few mths without her, i been living a life without tomorrow. Spend like there's no tomorrow, club like there's no tomorrow. But end of the day i still feel empty. I really dun enjoy the life i living now. i really wish for something that i proud of and worth working for.

But well i gueSs the priority now is to make my every day full fill to be with a JOb that i like .. i always wonder when will be the day someone will recognize my ability, i always think i can do better if given the chance... well recently i start to have another thinking, should i try to switch my belief from love stories to realistic stories to be ..

Then TODAY my Gay friend told me ..heh you finally wake up to your ideas .. lol.
Am i all the while living in a land of fantasy, hoping and wishing for fairy like stories ..

Hatezz say :-
Been watching 溏心風暴之家好月圓. How i wish that i had a family like their. Been like crying for almost every episodes. How i wish that i had that kind of family warm. Few days back, i missed home-cook food so much. It been like ages since i had someone cooking for me. That kind of warm that i always long for. Whenever i passby my neighbour house at dinner time, i feel the kind of sour running through me. At times i wish that i could start afresh at a foreign country where no one know who i'm and no one or things that remind me of my past.

James say well Hi^5, i wish too .. it always being in my thoughts and for one reason why i cannot forget someone .. not because of anything but the feeling she give me which i being craving for so long ..and everything is just what i want to be, something which i feel warm from her love and all because of my stupid principle, things had to turn another way round ..

And so i sms her out of the blue and ask her How r u ..have have u been ..
The reply is well .. "Can u dun bother to msg me? I dun feel like received yr msg. I been very well nt tgt wif u." sound disheartening ya .. I just reply ..that was not what i meant, just being concern as a friend ..

At the end of the day ..the greatest enemy is still me, the me who causes all this to happen .. but still i believe one day someone out there will understand ..

Wad a WeEkend ..

WEnt to Lunar on Sat for Gab birthday and spent the whole of Sun sleeping .. lol can't believe it .. i guess to make up the lack of slp ..and after so many drinks on sat ..

Lunar was celebrating their 1 year anniversary, so Cao Ge was there to sing for the night .. hmm not really a huge fan of him but well still enjoy listening to the song anyway .. but there was really allot of fans of his on that night .. Me and my friends were like sitting right in front of Cao Ge and behind me, wow pretty actress .. i didn't realize that till my friend told me .. never knew face to face they're so pretty.. and quite friendly too, at least don't look dao ..well i don't remember what their name anyway hee ..

Lol then there was this moment when Cao Ge went down from stage to shake hand with the peeps in front and well lol so when he was about to shake hand with me, he took his hand off .. lol look so ps for a moment then ... faint.

Had quite a number of drinks but still manage to pull it off being drunk .. lol
Not a bad night with friends around and catching up with friend which i have not seem for quite awhile .. and in between went over to MOS, as usual sign people in and well drinks again ..

The night ended when the birthday boy was drunk hee ..

Oh well i guess i need to find a job fast ..m getting bored already ..and going broke soon with every weekend drink drank drunk .. lol

But then .. i still feel kind of low morale and no motivation .. no aim no target ..sian and becoming so lazy .. just don't wish to think ..so i guess i spent most of the time sleeping away .. sigh ..

Hope it get better soon ..

What a Night ...

Hmm went clubbing at MOS ... saw allot of friends ..sisters too ..
And allot of my friend that went together with me .. and today really broke record ..sign in i guess got 15 people ? lol so pai seh .. and i have to PR again haha ..

Well lots of drinks .. end up 1 drunk ..few high .. and left 3 bottle of wine behind for not able to finish it ... i think total got 12 bottles of wine lol.

I try to find back certain feeling but well i don't seems to enjoy at all... even dance floor feel boring or well just can't stand guys nowadays, so end up being body guard.. i really can't stand some guy, don't understand what is so nice just to stand there and bua from behind .. there is this guy really sway ..he try to bua with 2 of my gal friends ..then end up i chase him off then he go try his luck on another group of gals, then well my friends too .. end up chase him away too, but still so thick skin then i push him off .. really nerd ..don't even dare to do anything, then his friend keep saying ps .. lol .. but well i do admire their thick skin and being ignorance haha ... well i try to enjoy too with the gals around but somehow i really don't feel anything nor i enjoy it .. so well just take care of them ..

Haiz, at times i guess m really getting old .. things i want change ..point of view looking towards certain things change too ... i really wonder when will be my turn to have a chance of luck.

M i really holding too much to the past .. like what my gay friend say .. so the below song suit me .. lol

收藏再眼眸，常徘徊左右
爱，猜到没有？
愉快玩笑后
能全然退后
你开心就够
这种感觉太真厚
讲一千句也不够
假使讲了你听到后，或会走
这种恋爱太罕有
不需真正拥有
成全 ，衷心祝福然后...
就放手
放手，放开所有
彼此更自由， 放手...
其实我决非爱得不够！
放手，豁出所有
还有这个好友，已经，已经足够...
遥远是宇宙
静静在背后
去看守就够
这种感觉太深厚
讲一千句也不够
即使一刹有过冲动
挽你手
这种恋爱太罕有
不需真正拥有
成全，多舍不得仍然是放手
放手，放开所有，彼此更自由
放手，其实我决非爱得不够
放手，豁出所有，还有这个好友
经，已经足够
放手，我的牵挂，找不到尽头
放手，寄望你幸福什么都有
也许，爱很深厚
而我，早看得透
放手，只可拥有

Hmm m i doing too many bad things ..well let me think back ..to be honest not really .. i treat everyone with my heart, take care of them, even if things happen, i don't cheat to gain something or to cheat for the needs, so well what went wrong, maybe m just not bastard enough .. or well m really too soft hearted to certain things, even my work goes wrong, i really wonder what is wrong with me to cause all this things.

But for everything that went wrong, i guess somehow i had to play a part .. be it me, wrong or right .. i had to be positive, as long as i still hold on to my ethic i guess ...

well ... wtf now is 8 am ..and i still not slping faint ..

Rainy blue sky day ...

I been hibernating for awhile .. well time to wakie ..doesn't mean i m lazing anyway :)

I’ve been watching Forensic Heroes 2 and one of the song - You are my Angel. The lyrics are really simple and the song is beautiful.

Once upon a time,
Arcangel in the sky,
May it cover every night,

Once upon a time,
The angel loved me so,
It’s a miracle in the snow, my heart won’t be cold

My dear, you are my angel,
Tell me what you know,
Something should be told

My dear, you are my angel,
Tell me where you go,
I will brace behind your love

* Dun cry over what we lost ... laugh for what we have and treasure