Here i have to Say .. wondering ...

When things happen i guess, its not u nor me alone .. it takes 2 hand to clap ..

When you love someone and the relationship has to end in any reason that hurt us both, it has to end right at that moment and i guess i have to accept it and let go. don't have to ask questions why it happened; don't have to look for answers because i will see none, just selfishness. Things could get ugly if insist looking for it.

Don't try to change the course of fate, if it's meant to end then it has to end and let go i guess, a consolation prize to console myself in a way or selfishness, not used to it ...

I cannot patch the holes and loopholes that happened to both of us. There will always be grudges, blaming and comparison with each other. It's the way it is; its how letting go is. There could never be a nicer way to do it, but to let go and accept it. Only time could tell if all wounds have healed, things will fall in their right places at the right time. As the old adage goes "Time will heal all wounds" as old as it is, it is still true even to this time...

When it comes to relationships, it doesn't matter who is right or who is wrong. Yes, we will go through the process of fighting for our rights because we think we are right but at the end it really doesn't matter. Relationship lasts because it's meant to last, it will end if it's not meant to last and you have to let go if we don't know how to make it works together ...

All i have to say, i did love you and i feel bad now .. i will feel uneasy and recall when you're around .. i will look at our picture and say how sweet it is .. i will recall every moment u're around ... the cute you, your stupid face .. the way you talk back to me, copying what i say ... everything little single things you say .. you do ..thanks for being part of my life ... i guess that is the best way we have to part, please do remember what i have say before, whatever or how bad it is, its all for your own good ..look forward and don't be native to certain things .. and most important ..do take care ya ...

What is love to me .. in this era ...

When you love someone, you want to be with them. Not just be with them, but share everything with them. You have a great day at work and want to rush home and tell them every wonderful thing that has happened. You feel excited at the prospect of just being in their company, just being close to them isn't enough, you want to be a part of them, a part of their life forever. You can't stand the thought of being away from them yet, when you are, you still feel that ever-present bond that ties you together wherever you go. You can almost feel what they are feeling. You feel like, with a little bit of effort, you can see what they are seeing and think what they are thinking. It is almost as if you both can occupy each other's bodies with complete trust and harmony. That to me is love... to know what it takes to tie a guy down and to feel love .. in this era, there is not such things as fairy tales story, loving each other ever as forever to be .. it all takes lots of factor to be .. Guy somehow on the other hand can be a bit MCP (Male chauvinist Pig) .. is the same as want to tie a guy down, u need to fill his hunger ... but to a certain extend, to much MCP make the ger miserable somehow to be ...

Now, on the other side of the spectrum, there are a host of emotions that people confuse with love. One of the most common is lust. There is a difference between wanting to sleep with someone and wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone...

Being overly dependent on the other person is also not a part of love. Some people fall into the trap of thinking they love someone just because they are afraid to be alone. They have become dependent on the other person for so much that they don't know how to make it on their own, or they would much rather be with someone than no-one.

This leads to the old cliché, in order to love someone else, you must first learn to love yourself. Well, we've all heard that before, but what does it really mean? It means that you have to be confident in your own ability and your own judgement. You really have to like yourself and know what you have to offer another person. There is no way that you can love another person if you are so stuck in your own hang-ups that you bow down and propitiate to the other person. That is, you do anything they ask and agree with everything they say out of fear that they will love you less because you don't do those things... well who understand that anyway ..

I Guess We experience situations for a reason. Not every situation is going to be idyllic...

M getting pretty tired over lots of things in life that i'm struggling with .. and yet i can't find a motivation to it .. nor to share about it ... nor the facts m getting older each year ...
when your heart is calling you a traitor the second you think about it? and that make me feels i cant and i try that i did .. well honestly speaking the facts is i cant yet i am hiding to be .. hiding everything to be yet becoming another person ..feeling guilt and bad ...and struggling to pass by everyday ..

Well i guess not allot do understand ... well .. m selfish ..yet cant bear to be hard hearted ...

16th years of memory of my Mum

Hmm somehow this day bring back memories .. duno issit sad or well issit glad to be ... all along my dad will think i very the boxin, never once visit my mum once or rather this date to be.

Honestly speaking, she is always in my heart, till now i never forget abt her, never forget how she look, never forget the things she does for me and my sister.

Right here, all i can tell her is well am doing fine, trying to be better, and once sister is out, i will take care of her wholeheartedly.

I know i spend rather sometimes to be better, or rather wasted sometimes to be.
But today somehow wake me up abit, instead reminding me of something.

If you're up there watching me, i hope you do believe in me to see what i am doing .. love you always, my dearest mum.

M i lost ....

Been awhile i blog ... somehow recently i feel lost, and i choose not to bother with anything .. something is amiss ...

B had been nice ... but somehow i feel and i think .. is she really happy ..deep down m thinking am i the one or am i really been so demanding ... will she be the one ? But no matter what, i can't bear to hurt her in a way ...

Work not going well recently ... and allot of stuff came running into my mind .. and some stuff which i have leave it for awhile, need to be dug up and solve it too ... and i told myself i being too irresponsible towards certain stuff.. and how many more years can i leave it there and how many more years can i afford to run away from it ..

I sit down now and really did some thinking, can't help feeling emo, thinking what is my direction now, where do i see myself in a few years times... to a certain extend, i had not being really very honest to myself, and choose to hide it away, not to think about it... This days, i am not being very positive ... even my mask is coming off .. too tired ...mentality tired. Even too lazy to bother.

I been catching up with friends, close friends ... sisters ... one thing when I'm out with them, at least i feel very glad to have them around .. want them to be happy too ...

The me now is pausing somehow .. don't know where to move, don't know where to go, just wish to slp all the way ..not to think, not to bother ... wondering where is my drive now .. or i guess i just need to grumble for now ..feeling too stress let me wonder around too much .. think too much ...

珍惜你爱的人和爱你的人

因为爱过，所以不会成敌人；因为伤过，所以不会做朋友。

如果，前世的五百次回眸才换来今生的擦肩而过，那想来已经很幸福了――
其实，擦肩而过，也是一种很深的缘分。

佛说：五百次的回眸才能换来今生的擦肩而过。可以一秒钟遇到一个人，一分钟认识一个人，一个小时喜欢上一个人，一天时间爱上一个人，但是却要用一辈子去忘记一个人。

当她不爱你的时候，无论过去她是否爱过还是后来忘了，又或者是从未爱过，当你无法再成为她心里的那个人的时候，她的心便不会记得你。

请不要在你不开心时去打搅她，她那儿绝对不是你此刻应该的去处。

请不要与她讲你的琐事，她无暇更是没有兴趣去了解你、你的生活。即使讲了，她也很快会忘记的。没有爱，你注定挤不进她的生命。

请不要在她的面前流眼泪，她无法给予你照顾和关心，至多只是一点同情。只有爱你的人，才会真正的去珍惜你，而不是，旁观的同情和怜悯。当她不爱你的时候，你的爱便是她的负担。

请不要去计算自己的付出，不要希望有什么音箱。你用心，她无心，爱着不爱自己的人，本身便是没有回报的。不要计较对与错，这样会快乐些。

请不要失去自信，因为爱一个人，并非她的优秀，而只是一种感觉。她让你有这样的感觉，于是你爱她。同样，她不爱你，也并非你不优秀。优秀，不是爱的理由。还有那么多爱自己的人，淡淡地微笑一下，也是异样甜美的。

当她不爱你的时候，也一定要祝福她。有了爱，便不该有恨，因为曾经有爱，有爱的日子里是快乐的，有缘在一起也是快乐，有过快乐有过爱，就不会再有恨。她失去的是一个爱她的人，而你失去了一个不爱你的人，却得到了一个重新生活、重新去爱的机会。请你深深呼吸，一生的路上，铺满了爱的花蕾，总有那么一朵属于你，花儿虽多，却没有重复的一朵，这是生生世世早已经注定的。

当她不爱你的时候，就是你从他生活中消失的时候，第一时间离开她，骄傲地过属于自己的生活。同时，你也希望她能幸福快乐，找到属于她的未来。轻轻拥抱一下回忆里的温暖，轻柔地凝视凋谢的温柔。无论结果怎样都会破坏了曾经的美感。干干净净地离开，也许若干年后的某个午后，阳光下的她眯起双眼会记起某个美好的瞬间，会心一笑。种种怀念，值了。

爱不一定要离心机。曾经拥有的也许会是你一生最美好的回忆。因为爱过，所以不会成敌人；因为伤过，所以不会做朋友；只能是最熟悉的陌生人。爱过知情重，醉过知酒浓。关于爱的记忆，应该好好收藏，只是今后的幸福，要各自去寻找。

爱是一种感觉，不爱也是一种感觉，而往往难以抉择的是心中的感觉到底是爱还是不爱。原来握在手里的，不一定就是你们真正拥有的；你们所拥有的，也不一定就是你们真正铭刻在心的。人生很多时候需要自觉的放弃，因为拥有的时候，你们也许正在失去，而放弃的时候，你们也许又在重新获得。

明白的人懂得放弃，真情的人懂得牺牲，幸福的人懂得超脱。对不密集架自己的人，最需要的是理解、放弃和祝福。过多的自作多情是在乞求对方的施舍。爱与被爱，都是让人幸福的事情。不要让这些变成痛苦。既然你们已经经历了，多年以后，偶尔想起，希望都是美好的回忆。活的自信些，开心些，把最美的微笑留给伤你最深的人，聪明的人知道自己要快乐。

珍惜你爱的人和爱你的人.


Being awhile since i blog ..usually when i blog is because i feel sucky.Unexpectedly being doused with an icy cold bucket of water.

THe above things which i came across ..meaningful .. all along i try to smile to bring to my surrounding ... never expect others, my the other half or well to understand ... and who will ..maybe except my Gay will ...0.0

Nevertheless, emotion tends to be very obvious from me.
Never expect to be crying for the longest in this recent years ...and yet it did happen ..

Never expect to be gracious, demanding, taking things positive, end up is hurting myself.

Never expect the thought to found the one and yet turn up to be another emptiness to understand the meaning of walking hand in hand instead of perfectness.

Something that develops and grows, and also can shrink as well if not attending to. Love is not predestined that is for sure...but it can appear out of no where and happen anywhere and up to a couple to make things work out ..

Always, emotions have followed my intellect. Never the other way around. So, for me, it was always a choice. Never predestined, or anything like that... always up to us to see to feel to find to make the path longer.

Accept responsibility that we contributed to the demise of the relationship, however, that it was also a two-way street. There's no need to dwell on what each person "did" or "did not" do. Assess it what relationship areas we could probably address for future relationships and make a commitment to do something about it or to work things out in pair ..

sigh ..juz feel like nagging abit, don't no what m i saying too ...

Down down down .. hope blogging make my time pass faster ..

Nevertheless, 2009 ? Zzzzz

Out of the BLue ...

Well damm it .. my pay heven came in dupz ...and well i being home for the past few days .. thinking about stuff ... wondering when my hp will ring ...

Somehow or rather, m thinking, and i came across this article which i find it interesting ...

48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated.

So much for the myth that for men, cheating is all about sex: Only 8 percent of men said that sexual dissatisfaction was the main factor in their infidelity. "Our culture tells us that all men need to be happy is sex," Neuman says. "But men are emotionally driven beings too. They want their wives to show them that they're appreciated, and they want women to understand how hard they're trying to get things right." The problem is that men are less likely than women to express these feelings, so you won't always know when your guy is in need of a little affirmation. "Most men consider it unmanly to ask for a pat on the back, which is why their emotional needs are often overlooked," Neuman says. "But you can create a marital culture of appreciation and thoughtfulness - and once you set the tone, he's likely to match it."

True ? but as a guy well it is quite true for me lol ..it all point down to communication and again like i say, its all about making the right tracks and to understand wat it takes to be.

Only 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife.

In other words, a man doesn't stray because he thinks he'll get better sex with a better-looking body. "In most cases, he's cheating to fill an emotional void," Neuman says. "He feels a connection with the other woman, and sex comes along for the ride." If you're worried about infidelity, focus on making your relationship more loving and connected, not on getting your body just right or mastering new sexual positions. (But know that sex does matter - it's one of the key ways your guy expresses his love and feels close to you, so be sure to keep it a priority.)

Interesting ya but well it is quite true ...

I seems to be hinting something afterall lol ..

Well later then ...

Been Awhile

Been awhile since i last blog.

What have i been doing ? Swaying around, looking around .. working ..

And somehow recently i began to be mentality very tired.
Longing for something and hope to be love .. craving for the feeling ..

Love is like the ocean. Everybody sees something different when they look at it. For some, it's a place to have fun. For others, it's a scary place where you can drown or be eaten by sharks.

When you're standing on the shore, you see the waves go one by one after the other. You see the flow of the tide. So you think it comes and it goes.

Where you're sitting on the surface, it takes some getting used to. Sometimes it's choppy. Sometimes the waves are really big. Sometimes it's flat and there's not wind. And you think there's a lot of scary stuff lurking below, like undertows, stingrays, jellyfish, and sharks -- all waiting to hurt you -- or worse.

But when you're in it, it's all around you. And most of the earth is ocean. It never requires proof because it's always there. And it's always been there.

Of course, there are always going to be some people in the ocean who are always trying to get somewhere. But there will always be the few who understand that they're already there...

Well same old stories, people complain but never knew what is there and already there or to make things happen.


There are many factors in my life that has gotten me where I am today. One of the surprising things that has had a tremendous impact in my life i guess is when i was 14 and well sigh long story, one is the shortage of love that somehow lead to be very independent and to fight for what i want, and after fighting for what i have, i become too obesse in it and thus taking things for granted and living in a world of entertainment, attention, etc.

And now .. learn to be satisfy,and realize what is more important ...
Trying to make everyday count.
Make every feeling towards someone good. Don't be angry or bitter. Be free from the horrible pattern that this world is taking all of us through ... lol

Somehow deep down .. m really tired .. always going thru the same process, SOP ..lol
And how many really do understand ... or to know our well being and the things we say to guide and to make it better ...

Well the story keep repeating over the years, when will it come to a good ending ..

Heh been awhile i chill out ..