My Dear .. well there u gO ..

In My relationship life.. Well never met a ger like her that gives me so many headaches... but still I loVe Her .. y ?

She does have her good side, her adorable side, her notty side .. and well indenpendant, stubborn, attidude and well always wana Win .. and No matter how much she complain, I guess she do have a strong will, hard when say but actually quite soft in heart, just due to well certain shadow in her life .. filial to parents too ..

BUt well I guess Some of her character in her is already like mould into her .. I guess it take some time for her to understand ...

WeLL more for her to see and to understand the way of life I guess and also to improve on way of communication and way of approach .. but well I juz always give in to her .. hopefully one day she will understand my kind intention and oF coz due to I lOve her.

Although just been together with not long but as the times goes, getting to understand her more, my whole perspective on her changed. She doesn't deserve all this crap for her life but she is able to put up with it anyway using her own way of style. (Well NOt really the right approach at times I would say)....she has a great voice....and she is the biggest sweetheart ever when Well she is not that stress and negative .. She Is So notty and cute that u cannot imagine keke.

No matter what she does, she is always EXTREMLY pretty to Me ..
I Have learn to see her expression, her action and etc, She Can be real fierce and attidude, never in my life, a GF like her, Not say previous Gf is 100% good but well i guess i never being so tolerant and so understanding, and well to learn to Appreciate her more and keep taking things positive .. although I wish one day she do improve and I guess I do need my most trueful heart to melt her ..

There is no explanation as to why we love certain people but look at some Quote and at times it do give us a better reason.

The best and most beautiful things in the world can't be seen, not touched... but are felt in the heart.

When u love someone, I guess i just don't love her for her cute smile.. i just don't love her for the way she holds me nor the way she kiss me .. i just don't love her for how she make me happy. Or how she speaks my name. its not about how she make love to me . Loving her just for who she is..Its what she does good or bad i just take her as she is.. My heart did not beat for her for a reason.it just loved her ..Like that,,, Cuz its not a just one reason nor three or four its just many tiny things making who she is..just love her for who she is....I say to u I love u for better or worse I love u for what u do and what u say being bad or good is nothing as long that I am with u.. heh .. but well nothing is perfect, nothing is so great at times, as long as we r clear to what we r doing, loving someone wholeheartly, having a objectives, working hard together to make things happen ...

<3 Love U ..

JoBs .. hmm

I have a good feeling coming along i guess ..

Well m glad she do have a nice job to keep her occupy for now ..

LoVe U ..

lOst In tHe MiDdle oF nO wHere

At times, certain things seem so simple but yet it become so complicated, I care just as much for the her welfare and fulfillment as I do for my own. Story seems to be different every single day, plot changing, scenario changing, everything just change within a second..

Does a person who tends to hate their life so much, blaming and living in the shadow of the past make their life so miserable ? Or well excuses of not facing it .. Having a shoulder to cry on when our burdens are too heavy to bear alone is not really that hard .. But how many person deep in their heart do know to treasure and cherish, moving on with clear objectives and do know what they want in life together with the right one .. Fate, happiness is within our own hand to achieve .. And what is real happiness .. Something that I laugh and smile from my heart, and money is sure not the main factor but still it is a side factor... even Rome don't built in 7 days either lol ...

Human r always self contradicting I guess ...

Well who to blame .. the environment, the bastard and etc lol ...spoilt market ya ..
Me too being living in the shadow that’s y I been trying to break free and never to live in that shadow and let it control me.

The quality of the time spent with each other is as important as the quantity I guess, Understand that people can be great actors. We all tend to play games with one another, to appear to be what we are not... heh tiring lol ..

The day before yesterday we were still having coffee ..chatting around .. and well yesterday it just changes again lol .. thought we already have a plan for today to go watch movie .. till now I keep hoping she will call or sms lol .. Is Communication really that hard ? I never meant to control, but well out of mutual respect and concern is my point ...

Love do have interesting facts, it has an organizing and a constructive effect on your personality. It brings out the best in you. There is an intense and satisfying feeling of greater self-realization and expression, as well as a feeling of having one's own personality reinforced and strengthened and enriched. Love gives you new energy and ambition, and more interest in life. It is creative, brings an eagerness to grow, to improve, to work for worthy purposes and ideals. Love is associated with feelings of self-confidence, trust and security. Love lifted you to new levels of maturity and responsible action. When you love a person you make an effort to be more deserving of the beloved. You want your beloved to be proud of you, so you try harder. Life has more purpose. You make plans and save for the future. Life takes on new meaning, more sparkle... well sound abit meaningless for now lol.

Tragedy may have robbed me of my beloved before. In spite of the pain of loss, I still likely to be a better person for having had love. I can better understand myself and be better prepared for finding success in my future relationships. Be more mature and grew through love experience, and that growth will not all wither away. Whatever happened, love does have an organizing and constructive effect on one personality... well stay positive .. but haiz I guess time will always be the best judge around... Time is the infatuated person's best friend. It is both the great revealer and the great healer.

Our minds can talk about love, but they can't actually experience love. Love can only be experienced through feeling, but well y people don't treasure the feeling .. dupz.

Haiz .. I just realize my heart is not with me now .. somewhere with someone .. :(

Hmm well wat r we doing now ?

Hmm in my own little hut, she is cooking and i m watching keke ... went to bought some food, bacon, ham, hot dogs, soup and lots of other things but most important is the effort and the heart ... hee ..

HOw nice right .. it be even nicer if i have a job, having a balance in everything, standing by her, friends, family and etc .. well thats my goal .. towards a healthy relationship, a balance in every aspect of life... and of coz with a career to fulfill all this.

Hmm sure continue ltr

Sunshine After Rain ...

At times i wonder is it due to my thick skin, worry to make a mistake, or my belief to love someone means not to give up so easy, as nothing is perfect .. and i really don't wish something unmeaning less to spotlit it. Coz i guess i believe in her for all the things she told me ... I m glad and i guess next time i should observe more of my action till one day she will fully fall in love with me i guess ..

SOmeone Say wana go market to buy things to cook for me keke but well she is still sleeping so soundly now and i guess she do need the rest, can't bear to wake her up too... keke

Watching by her sleeping, her adorable face, cheeky smile really fill up my heart with happiness ... hugging her closely bring a kind of warm feeling and looking into her eyes, saying i will never let u go.

I pray for her, wish for her nothing but happiness, wishing her for all the best companion in her life to be. And i promise her whatever i have say before.

Sitting by the bed, watching tv, hugging her, well what would i still be asking for .. so loving, so happy ... having small talks heart to heart ... an undesirable feeling in me, loving her is my greatest, having her is a blessing, to understand her is an effort .. to watch by her is my job .. all i wana do is to love her wholeheartedly, working hard for my future together with her.

I Love u my dear ... well waiting for u to wake up now keke :P

24/05/07 @ MOS Hugo Event

Yesterday seems so well and yet something happen today to cause a misunderstanding, and given her character and the shadow she went through before gona make this thing to become so so much worst.

And it really break my heart, or should I say I m not doing a good job.
Today for nothing, being unreasonable and well not understanding for the thing I do for her, even not much, but every action, my thoughts is always to think for her, worry for her.

Till today, I been staying very positive and with determination to strike harder for a better future, but feeling so tired and heartbreak when she don't even understand it and wanted to break up with me.

Firstly, a misunderstanding that never happen for what I know, and I don't even know who the ger is, even I knew, I guess I never do anything really bad before in my whole life till now, so I dare to say. But a misunderstanding, and without clarifying and understanding tend to make things worst.

It really spoilt my whole day but well still trying to finish up all my job and hide like nothing happen. Till I start drinking, I become Emo, and in my heart, so much I wana see her, thoughts running wild in me, and where is she when I needed her most. Yes I do understand her attitude and way of approach but well is that the right thing to sort out problem. But well I never blame her at all, coz well I know somehow she is not facing it and afraid to face it but I just can't help thinking rubbish and be so bloody negative at the moment, really drink drank drunk.

I always believe in her cos I see the good side of her before, her side of being most trueful, adorable, having a relax and clam mind. But I do know she is afraid and I guess I choose this way and I have to accept it.

I send her tons of sms and not even one is being responded back, then gets to know some guy send her back, and well how would I think this time .. sigh ...

Well a horrible night, first time in my life to be so drunk and vomit don't how many times in there ... heart crack .. but still pinning for her.

Lost really lost ... I did told myself to think sensible, as I m clear to what I m doing to my heart, but I guess I fall again, always my weakness.
I think at this time, nothing worry more other then her, really missing her.

And wondering what should I do, is letting go really an option or a choice for her to be more happy ... is the promises we make are all so fake and invaluable ? Sigh ..

23/5/07 Happy One Month ..

Hmm well even though its only 1 month but well its like so long, wishing along and hope for more to come.

Give her a surprise, send her a bouquet of flower. So many plans in my mind but well kind of limited time and cash flow for now lol. But well all the effort sincerly come wholeheartly, and hope she like it.

First time hearing her saying sorry so sweetly, again make me to be more understanding and broad minded. I guess i still need more time to grasp her action and understand it... lol. Bed time story being good as usual, keke.

I juz wana her to know, i love her for what she is but i guess certain things need some changes to improve and i guess not even in r/s but how we gona handle things and to gain more respect.

Loving her is my choice, and to be angry is coz i care, i choose to walk this path and i told myself time will be the best judge.

Hope u do enjoy the day. maucks.

My Current Mood ...

Well stress ..really very stress .. so many things i wana do for her but well limited .. feeling damm vex .. and just having a feeling to drop down ...

I juz hope to have some motivation, at times i feel it and have it, but well it come falling down again

Well just hope i get occupy soon and well be my positive me back soon ...

Even right now .. hoping for a little comfort.
I guess even loser get a consolation prize at times ... even right now, i just hope to have a little nice talk, wana see her get more rest, but i guess some other stuff seems more important to her ... so much things i do hope she understand how i feel, and seriously speaking i don't dare to ask alot .. but i guess at times its my fault for being too demanding ? or well craving for more ? I guess i m lacking some self confident now ..

Well i do hope 1 day i will prove my worth in terms of love and work ...

Miss u allot my dear ...

Our WeekEnd ...

Things have been getting along quite well, love those pillow talks on the 2 nights, and I can feel that she is improving and showing .. The only time we really feel no borders around us ... being more understanding and able to communicate.

I do love her honestly from my heart, and being very understanding, hoping to prove my worth and melt her one day.

Seeing her so tired and well not getting enough rest tend to tear my heart, wana her to have more rest but well knowing her pattern too well, I guess I choose to keep quiet at times.

She was preparing for her race queen contest, and was glad able to do my part as a bf for her, and of coz supporting her.

And well today, Sunday (20/05/07), her day for the contest and presentation, and well me also make my way down just for her, partially also to talk business.
BUt then it reminds me of something of what she told me .. Not to disclose her as attach, me as her bf, at first, I don't really tend to link up with this or well never even think of it, to me work is work .. But then she mentions it, make me well kind of wander around my thoughts .. Even though I do understand why but the thing is .. she mention it and make it too particular about it, making me feel kind of demoralize ... maybe again if she put it in a nicer manner, I guess it be better, but well I told myself not to think about it and of course to stay by her and hopefully one day she understand my intention.

Then well after finish talking business, I was walking around the area, hopping to find more other sources in term of work, but then well it get boring but well happy to see her around when she is on stage, feeling proud for her and when the ans is being ask, its like well I do know what she gona say, make it a very sweet feeling.

After that I really do get bored, feeling neglected but well try to be understanding but the worst part is I feel I don't really feel comfortable or feel my existent there is needed, and so I choose to leave, as not to pressure her ba .. but how I wish and hope she will say something nice to me, and I will feel more comfortable, well the point is how busy can someone be, its about the thoughts and etc ... I dun feel the need in her.

So I reach office and was emo for like a few hours, listening to sad song, really feeling damm demoralize and stress and very very the mentality tired, listening to my profile song bring out a certain sadness, feeling the loneliness and etc .. But then again I told myself I have to be positive and that’s me, I should not let little things to pull me down.

Hopping she do call or sms, but the sms well was kind of bad from her, saying I m not understanding and I guess I do it the wrong way again, again all about the heart and etc.
And since the sms, really make me emo all way long, taking a walk by myself around orchard while they r doing the ticketing, no mood to talk to anyone, mind just all about her, hoping to coax her.

I was hoping she replies my sms and hoping will meet her later, worry she is hungry, wondering what she is doing.

At the end of the day, well having some talk with my friend they all, make me abit better but still feeling bad deep down, putting down my phone like 3 times and well I guess I really need to try a little harder to show my heart to her .. Well last but not least, for her I be patient I know deep down inside her, in a way she is rejecting me but she do have her nice side to me too :)

I love u my dear ...

SOme of the picture of my dear from her race queen contest :) .. isn't she look so nice and pretty, plus a little of slutty look ? keke







Well alot things wana update for the past few week, well i will update soon :)

My 1st Posting For You

The time now is 06.25am, I guess my dear now shd be awake, right now just wana have a page delicate to her.

I get to know her somewhere around March 07, I remember when the time I know her, her msn introduction is always kind of down, negative comment, dun really know her well during that time, but well just do my part to cheer her up ..

And so on the 29th Mar 07, I have an event there at MOS and that was the first time I met up with her but well due to my busy schedule, don’t really have the time to tok to her.




On the 20th April 07, well first date I would say, Watching movie 200 pounds beauty -

200 Pounds Beauty (미녀는 괴로워) is a 2006 South Korean comedy. The story tells the tale about a large girl that undergoes an extreme makeover to become a pop singer.

And having coffee at starbucks going along with some chit chatting of course, and well I guess at that time I m really talkative hee, then head down to boat quay for some pub session, and at the pub well together with some other friends too and I bought a few DVD.

Well then on that day I become a lao gorilla, lol a nick by her to me saying I m hairy, lol.

<----- In wat way do i look like Gorilla Btw dupz ...

And after this date, I guess we do develop a neutral feeling for each other, and I guess I m not too sure so still acting blur till she keep saying me benben keke.

On the 21st April 07, well I m heading down to Momo to met some of my friends there and knowing her she might be there, making me more wana go down after a long chat over msn, finally get to know she confirm going down :), saying to go down and see her gorilla have huai dan or not keke.

It was a fun night there together with her, running here and there, and of coz kana caught being jealous keke ... feeling is sweet, first time holding her hand, getting nearer to her, well happy together with her …



As the time goes, I get to know her better, knowing some of her problem, well so was thinking to guide her along and show her the way, like well to find a job and etc ... advising her what to do ... getting closer too but well I choose the date 23rd April 07 to be our official day being together.

The first time she addresses me as dear I guess .. also on this day, and well another new nick call Da Wu Gui haha .. also not to forget her nick is call Monkey keke .. and on this day she came over my place to look for me ...

HMm that will be the summary for now of the process how I get to know her till date today 17 May 07, well wana add in more detail and picture but I guess my brain now is malfunction, need to sleep ya, so for now, I just wana her to know I love her, from the bottom of my heart, accepting her and showing my heart to her, to assure my feeling and my love for her.

Oh ya just call her at 7 am but I guess as usual keke never hear bleah ..