Yesterday seems so well and yet something happen today to cause a misunderstanding, and given her character and the shadow she went through before gona make this thing to become so so much worst.
And it really break my heart, or should I say I m not doing a good job.
Today for nothing, being unreasonable and well not understanding for the thing I do for her, even not much, but every action, my thoughts is always to think for her, worry for her.
Till today, I been staying very positive and with determination to strike harder for a better future, but feeling so tired and heartbreak when she don't even understand it and wanted to break up with me.
Firstly, a misunderstanding that never happen for what I know, and I don't even know who the ger is, even I knew, I guess I never do anything really bad before in my whole life till now, so I dare to say. But a misunderstanding, and without clarifying and understanding tend to make things worst.
It really spoilt my whole day but well still trying to finish up all my job and hide like nothing happen. Till I start drinking, I become Emo, and in my heart, so much I wana see her, thoughts running wild in me, and where is she when I needed her most. Yes I do understand her attitude and way of approach but well is that the right thing to sort out problem. But well I never blame her at all, coz well I know somehow she is not facing it and afraid to face it but I just can't help thinking rubbish and be so bloody negative at the moment, really drink drank drunk.
I always believe in her cos I see the good side of her before, her side of being most trueful, adorable, having a relax and clam mind. But I do know she is afraid and I guess I choose this way and I have to accept it.
I send her tons of sms and not even one is being responded back, then gets to know some guy send her back, and well how would I think this time .. sigh ...
Well a horrible night, first time in my life to be so drunk and vomit don't how many times in there ... heart crack .. but still pinning for her.
Lost really lost ... I did told myself to think sensible, as I m clear to what I m doing to my heart, but I guess I fall again, always my weakness.
I think at this time, nothing worry more other then her, really missing her.
And wondering what should I do, is letting go really an option or a choice for her to be more happy ... is the promises we make are all so fake and invaluable ? Sigh ..
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