!0 days ltr ...

Sigh lots of thing happen in 10 days, being happy and being sad too .. Always told myself to stay positive .. And work hard .. but somehow or rather I already have the ans of what I m looking for.

Things happen so fast without any reason or being reasonable or well being logical too. At times I keep asking, is it being stupid to fall in love, to care and to concern for the one we love, and the ans I get, well coz I love her, I will do my part as a bf to be.

On one day, all the sudden, she just avoid again and well wana break up.
It really breaks my heart again ...

I would have never imagined I’d feel so much!I miss her and I cannot tell her nor for her just to have a talk with me.Worst of all I cannot tell myself to face it.

And whenever other feelings arise, like range, I cannot find peace and I ask myself why us, WHY THIS WAY, WHY NEVER again.
" You made that choice alone! Nobody asked me anything."

You told me before that with tears on my eyes. Now, if only I could convince my self that I was reasonable. If only I could silence the doubts that crowd my mind. If only, for one more time, I m not able to think.

I was waiting for her under her block for like 6 hours, Cold. so cold. my body and my heart shiver from the cold... wild thoughts running across my mind here and there during that day, really have the thought to end it somehow, ye stupid indeed but I’m really mentality tired somehow and after a long wait what I saw is a guy friend send her back, watching her from afar, sawing her reach her door step, switch on the light, on her com and hoping she will call but well it didn't happen.

After a few smoke, I went off home, somehow knowing she is home I m glad to see that in a way, and well tolding myself loving her can be in another method, even for me to cry alone, wishing for the best.

The next day all I knew, I m like a walking zombie, and well just wana get drunk and not think about it.
Somehow I knew that she is nearby me, and she sms me, giving me a hope of light, and she came over to find me, happy to see her and again hopping for the best.
Things end up pretty well after that, at times I just wish things to be more simple, be more truthful to ourselves and I guess by letting go certain burden and worries, it make us a more happy person. What can be more happy by having someone to love, someone by our side, a stable job coming by, working hard for the future, having nice friends around.

At times I really pei fu myself for being so optimistic at times and so positive and bearable towards her, I guess it take allot of effort and love to be to stand being criticized or scolded at a lot.

"It is very sad that it is so hard to connect with another being in a healthy, Loving way. It is very sad that so many of us have had to shut down our hearts and lock the romantic part of us away in a deep dark place within us."

Well I learn to ignore certain things but somehow I do not feel being recognizes as her bf in the public as this is how I feel. Simple little action, being loving and having fun, knowing to balance and handle things in a better manner seems to be so hard. Little action without being considerate about how I feel, online status being single and well I ask myself, why and what is the purpose of all this.

Friends get a better treatment, more benefit to gain ? Making use of others to gain something ?

Lots of question but in the end my love for her weight off everything, telling myself again time will show and action will prove myself to her one day.
I do know allot of things but choose to keep quiet, praying for her at one side, hopping the best for her and everything goes well for her, watching over her, taking care of her, making sure no one is bullying her and I guess that’s the role I can play my part for her for now .. even to stand aside and wishing the best for myself too.

The mood of me in a relationship is not how I feel about the relationship, but the unique combination of both people's feelings, reactions, beliefs, perceptions, thoughts about themselves, each other, and the circumstances coming together to form a mood.

Personally I think that honesty is always best, and I have been very honest to her. And MOST IMPORTANT IS COMMUNICATION BETWEEN 2 PERSONS.....

The purpose of a relationship is to support each other, through times of ups and downs … so in a way, I try my best to inspire myself, so that I can be a pillar to my dear love one … an inspiring passage …

This few days I have so many ideas in my mind, planning what to do for her, I wan her to be truely happy from her heart, and that’s my way of loving her using time and action to show and prove. Its not about how much I love her but how much love I put into action in loving her.

TODAY IS A GIFT

THAT'S WHY WE CALL IT PRESENT

TIME WAIT FOR NO ONE

I cherish for who she is and treasure every moment with her.
Just came back from her place, having dinner at her place, watching her doze off on my lap is the nicest thing to see her being so peaceful, having a good rest.

I wana say I m missing her now and well although just now I do hope she say something nice before I went off but well she is tired .. cumo James, keke.

Love her .. Always having her in my heart every single moment...

ps - Well not to 4get to those who stand by me .. just wana say thks, i do know everything from A to Z but well I m in love with her.