Out of tHe BluE ...

Hmm well been talking so much about her, I guess maybe I should blog something out of the blue about my surrounding life and etc. But still wana tell her I miss her.

Well thinking about my surrounding, blessed to have her, and bliss to have some nice friends around, of course not to forget my those beloved sister (Hmm I have 5 sister now keke).

Friends really allot, but really trueful one really very few, but I am happy to have those few.
The life I want is really simple, having someone that I love, a few close nice friend, stable job for now .. As the time goes along, I guess the plan will change.

I guess I never did mention about my family before, because I always think and thought I don't have it, that’s' why I devoted so much in a relationship and treasure those who really care about me and I really feel it in my heart.

But I do know something, my dad do really does allot of things for me and along the years he is changing, becoming more understanding and adaptable.
My 2 real sister, well sad to say I seldom communicate with them but in my heart I do care for them allot, I think I concern for my those god sister more then them in a way.
At times really a failure, and really feeling bad for not able to guide my youngest sister well that cause her to be in this state now, I guess I do need to play a role in it.
Well will not be seeing her for sometime, and seeing my dad dropping tears over her, seeing the those white hair on him, really making me feel so sad, really sad ... asking myself what have I been doing, being a son, being a brother, I guess I did nothing for them.
This entire lesson for the past years, really drain me allot. In a way, make me more sensible, to understand allot of things.

Things I went thru make me to realize allot of things, to treasure and cherish what we have.
Always be trueful, no matter how bad things is, all I know I wana be happy.
The person I really miss most I guess will be my Mum, 14 years just pass like that, and this 14 years what have I been doing. From a young gangster, arrogant and well being native I should say, being hot temper, then reach another stage, the money temptation. Used to own a car to now not to even mention license also gone, and from 8 credit cards to well now bankruptcy.
Well one thing still around, my flat .. lol
But well at least I guess in my whole life, I did learn something out of something everytime to make me for what I am today.
Seeing all type of people from different phrases and stages.
Admitting to one mistake is easy but to understand the mistake and make changes is the way we should do.

In life, never be too arrogant, be humble, and learn to listen. Respect is to be earn and not give. Action always talks louder. Most important be truthful - There is within each of a desire to be right, think right, and act right. When we go against that desire we put a cancer in our conscience. The cancer grows and grows by eating away at our confidence. Avoid doing anything that will cause you to ask yourself, “Will I get caught? Will they find out? Will I get away with it?”
A person is a product of his own thoughts. Believe Big and grow big. And we will grow big.
Where success is concerned, people are not measured in inches, or pounds, or college degrees, or family background; they are measured by the size of their thinking. How big do we think determines the size of our accomplishments.
Success doesn’t mean you own this own that, have car ya ..

Seriously I am not as strong as what people see me, I guess I just know how to hold myself well and present myself well at times.
I just know no matter what I went though last time till now, every time I get better in doing something, coz I guess I do not wana be defeated.
Example relationship, I always knew how to make things better, and becoming more positive as the times goes along, but well I need support too.
Make a supreme effort to put only positive thoughts in your memory bank. Don’t let negative, self-deprecatory thoughts grow into mental monsters. Simply refuse to recall unpleasant events or situations - well easy say then done I guess but at least that’s' what we told ourselves.
Support will be a greater source coming from loves one, friends and etc.

Be a comfortable person so there is no strain in being with you and letting go certain issues and burden, be trueful and we be more happier.

My life from last till now is not easy, but I always believe I am not the worst, it’s just how we deal with it and to move out of this misery.

And hopefully I am doing the right way now, well love is always my biggest weakness, and I hope it don't fail me.

Still my motto, striving a balance in everything...

Last but not least - Hmm if u r reading this, well dated today 23/06/07 (May many more months to come along, loving u and doting u wholeheartedly.)