Time to update ya.
Well another lovely weekend... just slacking at home, doing some cooking... Enjoying the weekend with her...
Yesterday well happy to receive the news that I found a job, at least the dark day seems to be over and something to look forward to.
Went to fetch her from work, happy to see her and went for dinner at tampines mall.
Everything seems fine till don't no y she feel so pek chey and well angry I guess but don't know for what reason, lol.
Again feeling of disappointment and feeling disheartening ... Some how don't really feel my existent around. I guess maybe she is tired ba .. Well try to understand but deep in my heart, don't really feel good, wondering ...
Reach her home .. Well try to coax her, as usual, sitting in front of her com.
Then just let her be and let her cool down .. till a not so nice voice came into me, telling Me she is going out with her friend on Wednesday, this part is really getting on to me .. Y can't things be communicating in a nicer manner, never in my thought not to let her out with her friend or well to control her .. I wonder me this boyfriend in her heart really stands at where at times .. She going movie with her friend then I just say in a joking manner, all the while I wana see a movie and she never accompany me .. Then she says different lol .. Say she hate to tell someone where she is going and etc .. haiz human behavior is really weird at times.
For the whole night, I m like a scolding target board.
Till bedtime, well try to talk to her again. Deep in me, I really feel like tearing, feeling so disappointed. Then the topic abt my past relationship in WG, heh someone saying I am like one of my friends, flirting around till I met her ..
People who knew me, since when I did flirt around or should I say, when u don't know anything much of the inside story, pls do not comment. As For kate, I guess I don't deny I did try but things don't work out, she really can be a good friend but well not a good gf... and I did vex over her before and when I m with her, she is all i have and .. then came in Reen, well I guess she is another different case, she treat me too good during the time when I was down, and I guess that is not really love, did try too but I guess the feeling is not that deep either but instead out of gratitude and feeling that I owe her something... the feeling fade as the time goes along and is more like a companion. This 2 ger in my life, well all I can say I did try to love them but it just doesn’t work out ..and not right.. and both parties do agree on it. In what way and what things do I do to say I flirt around anyway ... base on my action and what did I do .. since when does u really see me with a gal so close together other then now... not even with them both ..
I guess I should feel glad that at least the someone is saying something nice or should I feel in another way at least she feel jealous and showing she do care.
I don't really bother by all this, but more concern towards her, or should I say I m worry and scare of losing her. For someone like her, I guess a little spark of bad things will make the whole story worst.
Time passes by so swiftly, we forget what gets us by, and We are not individuals
Though we think we live this way and miss out the things we need to treasure around us. Gossips are part of life to gain certain trust and are people whom they feel jealous of and not having it... i guess i m too high profile ..
Well I do know something in her, again I can feel it but well time and trust is still the factor for me to gain it in her.
Well one thing I guess, she is bad at analyze thing and well mind don't really change that fast either. Stubborn still and not being flexible, to understand certain things... None of us like to be controlled I guess but there is a different to show mutual respect as I do care compare to being control in a way of reporting and restricting.
Way of action and approach do reflect wat types of person are we for people who do care and really understand. I want the best for her and hope one day she will understand.. again way of communication, allot people do not aware the importance in it. I guess it takes letting my heart be broken by her and Learning to live with it, using my previous heart to show her.
To fall in love so deeply again it takes incredible trust, and this is something missing in her. "The only way I'll ever deserve her is to try as hard as I can everyday to stretch myself so far beyond myself I'll become more than I ever dreamed I could be."
We've all had our moments when our behavior has been less than considerate. Next time you feel the urge to be rude, inconsiderate or to jump to conclusions, stop yourself. Take a deep breath and ask, "What would be a more loving response to this situation?" That doesn't mean that you allow others to walk all over you. You can speak the truth to people in a very matter of fact way, without being rude. Be considerate of others feelings and be willing to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Well Ice berg is really not that easy to melt anyway, but ice berg does cool down at times and thx for trying more ..
Enjoy life no matter how difficult it may have been or how challenging I may perceive it to be, and to reach my objective, to have a balance.. Well at least a new upcoming job is something I look forward to fulfill my balance.
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