Sigh ...

Always be there for her, trying to advise her, hope to be there for her when she is down .. and yet my love for her don't seems to be of any help or should i say the least being appreciate.

Whenever i offer her advise, she choose not to listen and when a friend say something, the guy still get a thanx from her .. lol and well who don't know all this... offer her suggestion also like well being pull down all the way to the drain at times.

My love, my concern and everything don't seems to touch her, make her feel warm and etc.

A person who is there for her now and then, cannot even compare to someone who just wana chat her up, or just a friend who she don't even know for long by just offering her some advise get into her good books ? .. lol. Well am i no better then any of this and having her always as my first place.

Haiz, when i m tired, not even the least being concern .. or to even to ask how is my day. Whenever i m stress and yet i cannot show, and still thinking about her.

I just wish to be more love, getting being appreciate, and well communication.. sigh .. getting so stress recently and lost .. emo plus being so negative recently ..

Maybe seeing her not being happy, do get me effected in a way too .. sigh .. and seeing me myself not even to provide her certain things or even to cheer her up, worst not even comparable to just a normal friend .. so who am i .. haiz ..

I juz hate it .. WG dupz and Well Friends ? kaoz !

I delicate most of my time into whosgoing, which ever u name it, the site, event, etc.
Sharing my work experience and working professionally.
To those whoever leave or well any misunderstanding causes, sry that I cannot help to fulfill certain things as well I
take instruction too. Work and friend, I draw a clear line, I hope u all understand.
I m a very objective base person, and well this is all about work to act as a bad guy role at times.
It been 7 months I put my time and effort in, thx to those who has been supporting me.
And glad that u guys get to know more friends out there and enhancing your social life.
Outing and event had been fun in the past, knowing u people has been my greatest asset.
TO most of u people out there, I do my part as a protector, an advisor, a forum admin performing PR/HR and even
as a brother role. All the while I do not ask for anything in return since day one, but I feel I m capable of making
it better, being proud in a way but even more proud to know that u guys know more people out there.
I have always been very truthful in dealing with things, and now I guess I do not like it the way it is.
I may be able to draw a clear line, but I m not able to go along with my feeling.
I don't really like back stabbing, performing small action and cannot stand working with people who're not being professional,
and last I cannot stand is betraying my trust and feeling for certain people.
Anyway I just don't like playing games.
Maybe it’s all in the mind, miscommunication and well working ethics.

Well been thinking hard, I may not get anything in return, but somehow I don't really feel good. Feeling disappointed.
Or am I just not happy to being throw aside?

But I guess what bother me most, is those trust, friendship and well my emotion.

Getting tired lost again and seems like no one really understand...

Sigh … do everything also seems to be wrong, I am feeling so negative in my life once again.

Over this, kind of effecting my relationship, having a quarrel and etc. Or well I guess it’s me who handle it in a wrong way and miscommunication again.

I am having a dilemance over this, just damm tired. Afraid of losing certain things, afraid of being abandoned, just hate it... all I ask is being simple, being truthful, having a balance in life and yet I guess me I am not achieving all this... instead it become a mess...

I am really tired, damm tired, I am just a fool to love whole heartly and making me to lost my direction. But I do it with my love and I guess to love is to show and give in at times. This is my way of loving, seeing her to be happy and well trying at my best effort to fulfill it.

What is LoVe?

Never in my life, have I tried so hard to make the effort work and to get reconigsation from her.
Never in me to remain in silence to bear all the unhappiness in a relationship.
Not matter what happen, I can never be right and I m always wrong.
Not the least being considerate to me, sigh... same old problem.
She can be late while I cannot, she can do whatever she want, while me always to have her as the first priority.
Am I being taken for granted or well I am not good enough.
Whenever she is unhappy, it’s easier to get to know about it as a friend to be, but me at times will be the one for her to frustrate her anger.
Is it because I am her bf and somehow she is like this to me as in well she don’t have to hide her emotion or assuming I deserve it as being her bf to be.
I don’t really mind but well somehow or rather, I feel sad and heartbroken, the word she says can be so harsh and mean.
As a bf, I am like having no place in her, or rather a failure to cheer her up.

Is my judgement wrong?

Well she is not really that bad, but well maybe too used to having a pamper life? Being treated like a princess?
She can be very adorable, really, seeing her smile, looking into her eye, you can feel the love in her.

I do not want a gf just for physical needs.

I want a gf who is proud of having me as her bf.

Am I having a problem in me too?
Am I not being understanding or devoted enough?
Am I not treating her and be sweet enough?
Am I not putting enough love in my action for her?

I guess this is my choice that I choose, and well love is all about patience.
Maybe is a way of protecting herself from harm and hurt.

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.
And well I feel that from her, at times I just wish the time will just stay there and don’t move.

Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside, that are why I am so gracious towards her and trying so hard to touch her and its all by my heart, willingly to do it for her, but I guess its human nature to complain, so writing is the best form I think. As I don’t really open myself much either.

Where love is, no room is too small.

At the end of the day, it make me worry, worry of losing her, worry she leave me for a cause or reason to be.
Worry she leave me course she choose not to face it. So allot of times I choose to remain silent, worry she get angry, she choose not to think, she will just let go. I guess I really love her too much.

Hmm currently at work, nothing much to do, well still damm free, and the stupid boss like to give work during last min when about to knock off. Thinking about her and thinking how to improve my money flow. Hopping to find more satisfaction in life and get myself occupy. Working hard together with her.

I always hold myself very high, someone who know how to present myself, someone who is smart and quick in thinking, mature but someone who is a fool in love.

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen,

<3 love you