Current Affairs

I've just been so busy lately. I have been working and working which takes up most of my free time. I've been going out to sea, and it has really got me thinking about things. So many things!! Deep stuff that you have to force your mind to get in there and reach for the nitty gritty details. I am enjoying the sea, that's for sure.

Had not been chilling, clubbing, drinking lately ... just work then home .. getting no life again, must spice up soon, its really getting boring for James, lol.

"TO DWELL IN THE PAST, LEADS A SAVAGE HEART, BUT TO STAY IN THE NOW, BREADS A FRESH NEW START. FOR THE FUTURE WE HOLD, WE CANNOT TELL, FOR THAT CHANCE WE TAKE, READS A WHOLE NEW TALE"

Does loving myself unconditionally mean I have to love everything I've ever done?
This question came across my mind, and i ask myself, to be honest, i never did love myself more then my the other partner and other stuff.

I've done things of which I have been ashamed. However, when we love ourselves unconditionally we don't dwell on these past events. We don't make them the focus of how we see ourselves. When we can we correct them. We call them mistakes and learn from them so that we don't do them again, but eventually i learn the mistake but i still blame this and that somehow deep in me, ye moving on but well need allot of pushing factor to be.

Often, though, it's not that clear. Many of us are good at presenting a positive personal(mask) to the world. Inside, though, we may be riddled with doubts about ourselves. We may be nervous about how our remarks or appearance are received. We may meet someone to whom we're attracted and silently affirm that (s)he would never, NEVER be interested in us. This way we avoid the fear of rejection by not taking a risk.

Well, but still i guess as long as we're being faithful to what we do and being truthful to ourselves and others, don't cheat to get something, i guess we already answer to ourselves.. someday i guess even by cheating ourselves, we will get what we want .. as long as we don't give up ..

Well now is lunchy time .. just lazing around in office, reading blog, writing blog, at times when i read that GAY blog, it really speak what i want to say, i think next time i should just cut and paste .. and keep sending me emo song .. faint faint.

Hmm .. don't dwell on to the past,it's never good to dwell on the past.
At times all this stupid stuff are the reasons I don't want to get out of bed anymore, but i still i find reason to drag myself out then, just because i want something that i laugh and smile from the bottom of my heart.

Recently i think i did something bad in the eyes of what they think and feel, hope i never break anyone hearts, but well I say, its not as what they think and thought, that is all enough to be say.

Time to eat ..