Sunday, November 11, 2007
Move On ...
I guess i have already move on and life never being any great to be now ..has to concentrate on other thing for now .. url change .. more things to change along ..to be update ya
Sunday, October 28, 2007
My Thoughts ..
Somehow or rather been hearing this and that, not a matter of trust but well i always believe a fire can't start without a spark to be.
Hate to hear something bad, not the least being together for once, at least its not really nice i guess to hear all this when people start to degrade, talking about integrity, action and approach to be, and worst that someone don't even realize this, nor to care and without realizing it.
Sadly not even to a point of understanding to spare a thought for me.
Worst, people heart really unpredictable. In front everyone is just like a saint to be, and whereby behind this and that, why people just can't be trueful to themselves.
The least i hate to c is people must really bang their head then they realize the pain.
If life were to be like drama, how nice it would be.
Whatever it is leading to, i guess, its all the action that count to let people has a chance to grad hold of something and to lead to something in regardless of anything. At times i guess i'm really too emotion attach to something and really think too much to care and the behavior to be.
Maybe if i m more naive and simple, the story might change.
To put aside everything or well to simply not to explain, i guess i care that is y here come all the writing .. at times i guess we have to look beyond and not just things on the surface.
Hate to hear something bad, not the least being together for once, at least its not really nice i guess to hear all this when people start to degrade, talking about integrity, action and approach to be, and worst that someone don't even realize this, nor to care and without realizing it.
Sadly not even to a point of understanding to spare a thought for me.
Worst, people heart really unpredictable. In front everyone is just like a saint to be, and whereby behind this and that, why people just can't be trueful to themselves.
The least i hate to c is people must really bang their head then they realize the pain.
If life were to be like drama, how nice it would be.
Whatever it is leading to, i guess, its all the action that count to let people has a chance to grad hold of something and to lead to something in regardless of anything. At times i guess i'm really too emotion attach to something and really think too much to care and the behavior to be.
Maybe if i m more naive and simple, the story might change.
To put aside everything or well to simply not to explain, i guess i care that is y here come all the writing .. at times i guess we have to look beyond and not just things on the surface.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Well ..that's it ?
Cannot imagine me myself being staying at home for so many days ..
really making me damm lazy, time to wakie ... ever since duno when, i been hopping but i guess i get the answer for now .. i tink ..
Thought by doing this what i feel need to be done, is to avoid and to think it over to minimize things to be and don't wish to know or hear anything to make me feel any worst about it... Always the case, no matter how much the trust can be, it still can be effected somehow or rather .. coz certain things we do care ..or care too much ..best bo chap ..
Intimacy begins when you stop pretending to be perfect and start being real with your partner. We get to know each other better as we reveal and negotiate our differences. - True ?
Lol ..
I try to hide and bring the best out of me soon to be .. moving on ..not to mention the least to be .. i guess well look 4ward for next job ba .. damm slacking for now ..make me think too much :)
Arrgghh don't what to write or don't know how to write ... lol nvm next time ..
really making me damm lazy, time to wakie ... ever since duno when, i been hopping but i guess i get the answer for now .. i tink ..
Thought by doing this what i feel need to be done, is to avoid and to think it over to minimize things to be and don't wish to know or hear anything to make me feel any worst about it... Always the case, no matter how much the trust can be, it still can be effected somehow or rather .. coz certain things we do care ..or care too much ..best bo chap ..
Intimacy begins when you stop pretending to be perfect and start being real with your partner. We get to know each other better as we reveal and negotiate our differences. - True ?
Lol ..
I try to hide and bring the best out of me soon to be .. moving on ..not to mention the least to be .. i guess well look 4ward for next job ba .. damm slacking for now ..make me think too much :)
Arrgghh don't what to write or don't know how to write ... lol nvm next time ..
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
OUt Of ThE Blue ...
I been Thinking and Wondering .... Isolating and Choose not to Bother by allot of things and Most important clear to the heart .. really too tired to be bother by all those and well I believe in doing things with heart and those who understand will understand ...
Just hate some idiot with no Ethic or Character, and most important today someone Told me to grow up when that someone dun even know what is going on ... and disappointed coz someone who I tend to care and concern for or even to trust till in regards of what other people say.
And that bloody idiot really pisses me off .. coz it’s all too fake .. in front of people wana act like saint and saying words to gain compassion point ? I don't really care about what topic they're saying but just don't like it to be so fake when u r the one who bring up the topic and in the end acts like so innocent dupz. Then after get scold, run to complain again and wana black mouth me again .. kaoz .. if not other day when I m sad, he will be so call around to say he be there .. knn .. what a fake ass ... wana chee hong also don't hong till no ethic and character la. Trying to act noble somemore ...
I guess this is life, everyone change and no one really remember what that someone has do for them in regardless of anything, say one thing but do another thing, and when in need of favors, will run back all the way to suck u up, same goes for r/s, why must till the end still don't understand and keep insist to be so self center. What goes around really come around.
What sadden me or disappoint me is somehow or rather, she still don't understand after happen so many thing, its not about now I change, now I put my heart and means u have to go along my way without realizing the mistake to be. .
How do you communicate with your spouse if it has a short temper and is also impatient and stressed all the time? It kills me because sometimes I feel as if people doesn't understand me or just doesn't want to hear the drama. It always leads into an argument and I can't stand it. People who love each other, but it's difficult for me because I think communication is being put aside, especially when already having a bad day already.
Anger can be a nasty emotion especially when it can't be directed at its true source... sigh always the case to be ... nowadays people r not as trueful, everyone with a motive to be ..be it anything, how many really do understand and not just looking on the surface to be.
As a couple, as friend, it is easy to wake up one day and find ourselves far off-track from where we intended to be. At the beginning of any relationship or anything, we all have great ideals of how the future will be, but without the right plan, the right mind it can be difficult to achieve these.
Unfortunately, things doesn't always work out the way we want. It's a harsh reality when we realize that happily ever after isn't something that comes automatically. Whatever it is, It Takes Two .... A good relationship is one purely based on trust, if nothing else. Being able to be miles apart yet never worrying a minute about what they're doing. Communication at all times is so important, and most importantly, respect for each other and their need for alone time as well as together time.
Two people trusting each other fully, not being afraid to tell the other what one thinks, whether it be good or bad, and the other respecting their opinion. Being able to enjoy the same things with each other, enjoying each other, and being able to take their separate lives and smoothly combine their lifestyles into a couple's lifestyle. After an argument; it's when you can really respect each other's differences and openly discuss feelings at all times.
I guess at times face don't really worth anything or to help us achieve certain things .. Just be trueful and be accountable to our own feeling and heart to be ..
.. Enough of grumbling for now .. ZZzz
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Depress ..LoSt ZZzzz
Wish to write so here I am. Somehow or rather, deep in me, my heart is tearing, not happy, lost, don’t what the hell I m doing.
Must be love again, it is kind of draining me off, yet I cannot let go.
I been reflecting this 2 day, what causes the thing to be in this way.
What I want in my life to be ?
Been hoping that things will change, but I just lost on don’t what to do.
At times the ability to analyze things and to think can really be bad, cause it bring me all over the world to search for the big logic reason behind it.
In relationship, I want something which make me feel love, very love .. and to be thoughtful, considerate, sweet and be a lovely couple. Be proud of having each other, be there for each other. But till now I m so lost that I hate to speak up, every single things I do nor I speak tend to be understandable. Every single action turn me off.
I always say things r simple, issit me who make it so complicated to be ?
Or am I demanding too much to suit what I want, but the more I think, the more I find it unreasonable at times. The path to walk down is already not easy, y can’t we understand this and to make things for the better to be. If 2 person to be together, is to be truthful then y can’t put down certain pride to think and to understand, instead of letting certain rashness onto our head.
I can always be flexible, to give in and never meant to calculate each and single things to be. All I wan is to understand and to prevent it from happen again.
What does the great wise man say, to learn from the bad and improve, taking in negative as a positive feedback. If do treasure, I guess we will always give in and to make things work.
Damm it at times I really blame myself for doing so many reading to understand how to be a better person or how to understand a person more to be, or even to read positive thingy till at the end of the day, I just wish everyone to have a trueful heart to see things and do things, or m I damm native to be.
Sigh, depression mode again till so lost and feeling less, just very lost till I am giving up everything, no mood to do anything even thought I know my heart is feeling damm sad in it, just wish to cry or just let go. For r/s is really making me crazy, and the feeling of emptiness once again is there, feeling of losing something is there.
I always do thing with my heart and asking for a little appreciation and yet at the end of the day being taken for granted, or well for not treasuring it.
Where is the balance of oneself to be ?
Is it too much to ask for a r/s to be understanding, sharing, considerate, thoughtfulness , be a lovely couple, to be proud of having and to have a balance, to able to communicate.
Everything around me since to be so disappointing for now, maybe if I m lesser sensitive, less emotion to be I guess I be better of .. or well be a bad guy .. trying but to be honest hard to be lol .. just tired of my damm life, have to think for this and that, have to plan money and etc .. and yet who understand or even the life I went though .. ye grumbling Zzz
Must be love again, it is kind of draining me off, yet I cannot let go.
I been reflecting this 2 day, what causes the thing to be in this way.
What I want in my life to be ?
Been hoping that things will change, but I just lost on don’t what to do.
At times the ability to analyze things and to think can really be bad, cause it bring me all over the world to search for the big logic reason behind it.
In relationship, I want something which make me feel love, very love .. and to be thoughtful, considerate, sweet and be a lovely couple. Be proud of having each other, be there for each other. But till now I m so lost that I hate to speak up, every single things I do nor I speak tend to be understandable. Every single action turn me off.
I always say things r simple, issit me who make it so complicated to be ?
Or am I demanding too much to suit what I want, but the more I think, the more I find it unreasonable at times. The path to walk down is already not easy, y can’t we understand this and to make things for the better to be. If 2 person to be together, is to be truthful then y can’t put down certain pride to think and to understand, instead of letting certain rashness onto our head.
I can always be flexible, to give in and never meant to calculate each and single things to be. All I wan is to understand and to prevent it from happen again.
What does the great wise man say, to learn from the bad and improve, taking in negative as a positive feedback. If do treasure, I guess we will always give in and to make things work.
Damm it at times I really blame myself for doing so many reading to understand how to be a better person or how to understand a person more to be, or even to read positive thingy till at the end of the day, I just wish everyone to have a trueful heart to see things and do things, or m I damm native to be.
Sigh, depression mode again till so lost and feeling less, just very lost till I am giving up everything, no mood to do anything even thought I know my heart is feeling damm sad in it, just wish to cry or just let go. For r/s is really making me crazy, and the feeling of emptiness once again is there, feeling of losing something is there.
I always do thing with my heart and asking for a little appreciation and yet at the end of the day being taken for granted, or well for not treasuring it.
Where is the balance of oneself to be ?
Is it too much to ask for a r/s to be understanding, sharing, considerate, thoughtfulness , be a lovely couple, to be proud of having and to have a balance, to able to communicate.
Everything around me since to be so disappointing for now, maybe if I m lesser sensitive, less emotion to be I guess I be better of .. or well be a bad guy .. trying but to be honest hard to be lol .. just tired of my damm life, have to think for this and that, have to plan money and etc .. and yet who understand or even the life I went though .. ye grumbling Zzz
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Writing a letter ...
At work now, and thus no mood to work at all so i wrote her a letter ..
Hi,
Heh, has no mood to work, my mind is all about you.
The time I spend with u, is something which I am looking forward everyday.
But I m a human too, I wana be dote and love and someone to rely on when I m stress, tired and etc.
Not asking allot but expecting the least of consideration you can give it to me.
Knowing u too well what u get angry for, what thing u don’t like, that is why I avoid doing it even at the means of costing my freedom and etc. U never say it (maybe that is how u feel) but the way u put it show it very clearly.
Example, if I never pick up your phone, its like gona cause another quarrel to happen and worrying u that u be unhappy, I try to avoid things like this to happen.
In life, I don’t know how u understand it but all I can say it is kind of wrong, way of approach and attitude, also the way u r seeing things. But u r not totally hopeless, I told u before, u choose to escape or well avoid to protect yourself in a way, this is wat u tink, but end up u r hurting yourself in a way too and taking away certain happiness and not cherish of what u have, u always demand and thus making it sound like always not enough.
To you, yesterday I may say allot of things that u think I sound bad, but what I say is facts and always take things positive and prove it to me or others that u can do it .. and making your life more worthwhile .. making u more capable to handle things and etc.
At times we have to reflect the things we do, if u ever do have dreams and something u wana achieve, then u have to change for the better to suit the environment and know how to be tactical and adaptable.
U might have your own way, yur way of seeing things, but it take no harm to listen and analyze.
Ever think why u have so many problems or ever think you things is not going smoothly. And why people keep asking me to leave you. Because of the way you portrait to others as an arrogant, bossy, proud and etc .. to u, u may not tink this way, third party always has the clearer view. In work we have to learn to outsmart them. Things don’t just work by showing working OT everyday and etc. But personal skill is important too.
To me because I know u and coz I love u,so advising u, not cause I m complaining, if not I would not spent time to write or to sms. I wana see my dear u to progress further, I wana be a pillar for u.
I know u too well for your temple and the way u handle things, but still there is no point being so head strong and self center. Saying all this not because I wan u back badly, even though I do hope. But the main point is to clarify and make u understand, take it as someone who is supporting u quietly at one side who dun hope for any return, but for someone whom he love dearly. Do it for yourself or be it for your family, not for me, when things happen, we have to be tactical to handle it.
Take your surrounding people and what u see in your daily life as example. If u do feel the same way and know how to say them about their attitude and etc, have u ever think that u r doing this also without knowing it.
Yes in love, I can give in to u everything, but in life to progress and for integrity, that should not be the way.
I been wondering .. and I don’t deny I really do love u, and everything I do, I do it willingly for u.. always wana share with u wat I know and never have the intention to hide unless it’s a while lie and for the seek of certain ego.
I really feel like dropping tears writing this letter .. but somehow I have to face it and I really don’t feel good and finding things to make me occupy coz I know myself too well, I might end up duno drunk where or doing foolish thing, love always being my blind spot.
I duno wat to say .. wondering should I hope for it ..i really duno anything for now .. but I do know one thing I love u and for the best of u, I respect whatever decision and again hopping things goes smoothly for u ..
Take a min to read it and try to understand … and well don’t anyhoe trust ppl, also muz take care, when u r sick then do wat u need to get better, dun be stubborn. Avoid heatly things, smoke less …slp early, a goal and dreams can only be achieve with positive mindset .. and to improve to gain the respect and acknowledge from people.
Till then I guess I will MIA for awhile … to collect back my feeling or watever, and maybe u may say not my business or wat, but I guess that fulfill what u have say to me, not to harass u .. lol wat a bad word to use .. I m just a fool who believe in love …
Love u always now and then .. take a look at our gorillanmonkey.blogspot.com ya .. whatever is there is all for u to read, I do that blog also for us .. and now it no longer matter …
*Hmm Emo time .. lol
Hi,
Heh, has no mood to work, my mind is all about you.
The time I spend with u, is something which I am looking forward everyday.
But I m a human too, I wana be dote and love and someone to rely on when I m stress, tired and etc.
Not asking allot but expecting the least of consideration you can give it to me.
Knowing u too well what u get angry for, what thing u don’t like, that is why I avoid doing it even at the means of costing my freedom and etc. U never say it (maybe that is how u feel) but the way u put it show it very clearly.
Example, if I never pick up your phone, its like gona cause another quarrel to happen and worrying u that u be unhappy, I try to avoid things like this to happen.
In life, I don’t know how u understand it but all I can say it is kind of wrong, way of approach and attitude, also the way u r seeing things. But u r not totally hopeless, I told u before, u choose to escape or well avoid to protect yourself in a way, this is wat u tink, but end up u r hurting yourself in a way too and taking away certain happiness and not cherish of what u have, u always demand and thus making it sound like always not enough.
To you, yesterday I may say allot of things that u think I sound bad, but what I say is facts and always take things positive and prove it to me or others that u can do it .. and making your life more worthwhile .. making u more capable to handle things and etc.
At times we have to reflect the things we do, if u ever do have dreams and something u wana achieve, then u have to change for the better to suit the environment and know how to be tactical and adaptable.
U might have your own way, yur way of seeing things, but it take no harm to listen and analyze.
Ever think why u have so many problems or ever think you things is not going smoothly. And why people keep asking me to leave you. Because of the way you portrait to others as an arrogant, bossy, proud and etc .. to u, u may not tink this way, third party always has the clearer view. In work we have to learn to outsmart them. Things don’t just work by showing working OT everyday and etc. But personal skill is important too.
To me because I know u and coz I love u,so advising u, not cause I m complaining, if not I would not spent time to write or to sms. I wana see my dear u to progress further, I wana be a pillar for u.
I know u too well for your temple and the way u handle things, but still there is no point being so head strong and self center. Saying all this not because I wan u back badly, even though I do hope. But the main point is to clarify and make u understand, take it as someone who is supporting u quietly at one side who dun hope for any return, but for someone whom he love dearly. Do it for yourself or be it for your family, not for me, when things happen, we have to be tactical to handle it.
Take your surrounding people and what u see in your daily life as example. If u do feel the same way and know how to say them about their attitude and etc, have u ever think that u r doing this also without knowing it.
Yes in love, I can give in to u everything, but in life to progress and for integrity, that should not be the way.
I been wondering .. and I don’t deny I really do love u, and everything I do, I do it willingly for u.. always wana share with u wat I know and never have the intention to hide unless it’s a while lie and for the seek of certain ego.
I really feel like dropping tears writing this letter .. but somehow I have to face it and I really don’t feel good and finding things to make me occupy coz I know myself too well, I might end up duno drunk where or doing foolish thing, love always being my blind spot.
I duno wat to say .. wondering should I hope for it ..i really duno anything for now .. but I do know one thing I love u and for the best of u, I respect whatever decision and again hopping things goes smoothly for u ..
Take a min to read it and try to understand … and well don’t anyhoe trust ppl, also muz take care, when u r sick then do wat u need to get better, dun be stubborn. Avoid heatly things, smoke less …slp early, a goal and dreams can only be achieve with positive mindset .. and to improve to gain the respect and acknowledge from people.
Till then I guess I will MIA for awhile … to collect back my feeling or watever, and maybe u may say not my business or wat, but I guess that fulfill what u have say to me, not to harass u .. lol wat a bad word to use .. I m just a fool who believe in love …
Love u always now and then .. take a look at our gorillanmonkey.blogspot.com ya .. whatever is there is all for u to read, I do that blog also for us .. and now it no longer matter …
*Hmm Emo time .. lol
My WG Profile ...
The best and most beautiful things in the world can't be seen, not touched... but are felt in the heart.
When u love someone, I guess i just don't love her for her cute smile.. i just don't love her for the way she holds me nor the way she kiss me .. i just don't love her for how she make me happy. Or how she speaks my name. its not about how she make love to me . Loving her just for who she is..Its what she does good or bad i just take her as she is.. My heart did not beat for her for a reason.it just loved her ..Like that,,, Cuz its not a just one reason nor three or four its just many tiny things making who she is..just love her for who she is....
*The above is for her
*The below is hope she understand the point
Success is all about growing oneself, learning thru experince and strive for it.
USING EVERY ENCOUNTER AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO EVALUATE, COACH AND BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE.
*The above is for her
*The below is hope she understand the point
Success is all about growing oneself, learning thru experince and strive for it.
USING EVERY ENCOUNTER AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO EVALUATE, COACH AND BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE.
Where success is concerned, people are not measured in inches, or pounds, or college degrees, or family background; they are measured by the size of their thinking. How big do we think determines the size of our accomplishments.
The real test of a speaker is not did he stand straight or did he make any mistakes in grammar, but rather did the audience get the points he wanted to put across.
*The below is what i feel in MeIt is not how much you do, but how
much LOVE you put in the doing… <--- this is what loving her means to me.
FreAking UpSET !!
Sigh .. whatever i do, i always have her in my heart, always wan the best for her .. but she is just too hard to communicate, always taking things into her own hand and assume it.
Don't know how to make her understand, or i guess i m having communication problem .. issit the way i put it or well the tone i sound it ... but never ever have the thoughts of what she assume ... i just hope she realize it and to take it negative as a positive feedback to improve.
Why can't the attitude be abit nicer and understand my good intention, i always wana be there for her but always turn to a deaf hear, i just wana be someone to be there to guide her, to protect her, to lend her my shoulder whenever she need it.
Whatever i say is all about life logic, what i went through and see ..
And everytime cause of some unhappiness, argument that causes the spark to happen.
When it can be a discussion to communicate.
Sigh .... still thought of giving her a surprise but well end up 99 days is a breakup day ...
I always been so thoughtful for her .. and i never ever complain or say anything .. but is all about third party point of view .. but what i told them is the say as what i told her, because i see her good side and nicest side .. her adorable her smile that hang me on .. the action she do and the small changes which i can see it ...
But bad thing is .. her moral education, character issues, but i never wanted her to change to another person, just wan her to realize and improve to be a better person for her own seek and future to be ...
The love i shower her is not even equal or to make her understand all this ?
I m really a failure to be ...
Somehow or rather i m loSt ... freaking upset about it .... i m too native at the end of the day to believe in love ....
I just wana her to know, i meant well, if i do sound bad, i guess i m sorry .. i just care and concern too much .. and to love to lose it make me haywire ...
Love U .. i mean it when every time i say this and kiss u to tell u this ... all my promises i never meant to break it .. or even to dishonor it ... but ...... i guess i am not good enough to touch u then ...
Sigh ...
Don't know how to make her understand, or i guess i m having communication problem .. issit the way i put it or well the tone i sound it ... but never ever have the thoughts of what she assume ... i just hope she realize it and to take it negative as a positive feedback to improve.
Why can't the attitude be abit nicer and understand my good intention, i always wana be there for her but always turn to a deaf hear, i just wana be someone to be there to guide her, to protect her, to lend her my shoulder whenever she need it.
Whatever i say is all about life logic, what i went through and see ..
And everytime cause of some unhappiness, argument that causes the spark to happen.
When it can be a discussion to communicate.
Sigh .... still thought of giving her a surprise but well end up 99 days is a breakup day ...
I always been so thoughtful for her .. and i never ever complain or say anything .. but is all about third party point of view .. but what i told them is the say as what i told her, because i see her good side and nicest side .. her adorable her smile that hang me on .. the action she do and the small changes which i can see it ...
But bad thing is .. her moral education, character issues, but i never wanted her to change to another person, just wan her to realize and improve to be a better person for her own seek and future to be ...
The love i shower her is not even equal or to make her understand all this ?
I m really a failure to be ...
Somehow or rather i m loSt ... freaking upset about it .... i m too native at the end of the day to believe in love ....
I just wana her to know, i meant well, if i do sound bad, i guess i m sorry .. i just care and concern too much .. and to love to lose it make me haywire ...
Love U .. i mean it when every time i say this and kiss u to tell u this ... all my promises i never meant to break it .. or even to dishonor it ... but ...... i guess i am not good enough to touch u then ...
Sigh ...
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Sigh ...
Always be there for her, trying to advise her, hope to be there for her when she is down .. and yet my love for her don't seems to be of any help or should i say the least being appreciate.
Whenever i offer her advise, she choose not to listen and when a friend say something, the guy still get a thanx from her .. lol and well who don't know all this... offer her suggestion also like well being pull down all the way to the drain at times.
My love, my concern and everything don't seems to touch her, make her feel warm and etc.
A person who is there for her now and then, cannot even compare to someone who just wana chat her up, or just a friend who she don't even know for long by just offering her some advise get into her good books ? .. lol. Well am i no better then any of this and having her always as my first place.
Haiz, when i m tired, not even the least being concern .. or to even to ask how is my day. Whenever i m stress and yet i cannot show, and still thinking about her.
I just wish to be more love, getting being appreciate, and well communication.. sigh .. getting so stress recently and lost .. emo plus being so negative recently ..
Maybe seeing her not being happy, do get me effected in a way too .. sigh .. and seeing me myself not even to provide her certain things or even to cheer her up, worst not even comparable to just a normal friend .. so who am i .. haiz ..
Whenever i offer her advise, she choose not to listen and when a friend say something, the guy still get a thanx from her .. lol and well who don't know all this... offer her suggestion also like well being pull down all the way to the drain at times.
My love, my concern and everything don't seems to touch her, make her feel warm and etc.
A person who is there for her now and then, cannot even compare to someone who just wana chat her up, or just a friend who she don't even know for long by just offering her some advise get into her good books ? .. lol. Well am i no better then any of this and having her always as my first place.
Haiz, when i m tired, not even the least being concern .. or to even to ask how is my day. Whenever i m stress and yet i cannot show, and still thinking about her.
I just wish to be more love, getting being appreciate, and well communication.. sigh .. getting so stress recently and lost .. emo plus being so negative recently ..
Maybe seeing her not being happy, do get me effected in a way too .. sigh .. and seeing me myself not even to provide her certain things or even to cheer her up, worst not even comparable to just a normal friend .. so who am i .. haiz ..
Monday, July 16, 2007
I juz hate it .. WG dupz and Well Friends ? kaoz !
I delicate most of my time into whosgoing, which ever u name it, the site, event, etc.
Sharing my work experience and working professionally.
To those whoever leave or well any misunderstanding causes, sry that I cannot help to fulfill certain things as well I
take instruction too. Work and friend, I draw a clear line, I hope u all understand.
I m a very objective base person, and well this is all about work to act as a bad guy role at times.
It been 7 months I put my time and effort in, thx to those who has been supporting me.
And glad that u guys get to know more friends out there and enhancing your social life.
Outing and event had been fun in the past, knowing u people has been my greatest asset.
TO most of u people out there, I do my part as a protector, an advisor, a forum admin performing PR/HR and even
as a brother role. All the while I do not ask for anything in return since day one, but I feel I m capable of making
it better, being proud in a way but even more proud to know that u guys know more people out there.
I have always been very truthful in dealing with things, and now I guess I do not like it the way it is.
I may be able to draw a clear line, but I m not able to go along with my feeling.
I don't really like back stabbing, performing small action and cannot stand working with people who're not being professional,
and last I cannot stand is betraying my trust and feeling for certain people.
Anyway I just don't like playing games.
Maybe it’s all in the mind, miscommunication and well working ethics.
Well been thinking hard, I may not get anything in return, but somehow I don't really feel good. Feeling disappointed.
Or am I just not happy to being throw aside?
But I guess what bother me most, is those trust, friendship and well my emotion.
Getting tired lost again and seems like no one really understand...
Sigh … do everything also seems to be wrong, I am feeling so negative in my life once again.
Over this, kind of effecting my relationship, having a quarrel and etc. Or well I guess it’s me who handle it in a wrong way and miscommunication again.
I am having a dilemance over this, just damm tired. Afraid of losing certain things, afraid of being abandoned, just hate it... all I ask is being simple, being truthful, having a balance in life and yet I guess me I am not achieving all this... instead it become a mess...
I am really tired, damm tired, I am just a fool to love whole heartly and making me to lost my direction. But I do it with my love and I guess to love is to show and give in at times. This is my way of loving, seeing her to be happy and well trying at my best effort to fulfill it.
Sharing my work experience and working professionally.
To those whoever leave or well any misunderstanding causes, sry that I cannot help to fulfill certain things as well I
take instruction too. Work and friend, I draw a clear line, I hope u all understand.
I m a very objective base person, and well this is all about work to act as a bad guy role at times.
It been 7 months I put my time and effort in, thx to those who has been supporting me.
And glad that u guys get to know more friends out there and enhancing your social life.
Outing and event had been fun in the past, knowing u people has been my greatest asset.
TO most of u people out there, I do my part as a protector, an advisor, a forum admin performing PR/HR and even
as a brother role. All the while I do not ask for anything in return since day one, but I feel I m capable of making
it better, being proud in a way but even more proud to know that u guys know more people out there.
I have always been very truthful in dealing with things, and now I guess I do not like it the way it is.
I may be able to draw a clear line, but I m not able to go along with my feeling.
I don't really like back stabbing, performing small action and cannot stand working with people who're not being professional,
and last I cannot stand is betraying my trust and feeling for certain people.
Anyway I just don't like playing games.
Maybe it’s all in the mind, miscommunication and well working ethics.
Well been thinking hard, I may not get anything in return, but somehow I don't really feel good. Feeling disappointed.
Or am I just not happy to being throw aside?
But I guess what bother me most, is those trust, friendship and well my emotion.
Getting tired lost again and seems like no one really understand...
Sigh … do everything also seems to be wrong, I am feeling so negative in my life once again.
Over this, kind of effecting my relationship, having a quarrel and etc. Or well I guess it’s me who handle it in a wrong way and miscommunication again.
I am having a dilemance over this, just damm tired. Afraid of losing certain things, afraid of being abandoned, just hate it... all I ask is being simple, being truthful, having a balance in life and yet I guess me I am not achieving all this... instead it become a mess...
I am really tired, damm tired, I am just a fool to love whole heartly and making me to lost my direction. But I do it with my love and I guess to love is to show and give in at times. This is my way of loving, seeing her to be happy and well trying at my best effort to fulfill it.
Monday, July 2, 2007
What is LoVe?
Never in my life, have I tried so hard to make the effort work and to get reconigsation from her.
Never in me to remain in silence to bear all the unhappiness in a relationship.
Not matter what happen, I can never be right and I m always wrong.
Not the least being considerate to me, sigh... same old problem.
She can be late while I cannot, she can do whatever she want, while me always to have her as the first priority.
Am I being taken for granted or well I am not good enough.
Whenever she is unhappy, it’s easier to get to know about it as a friend to be, but me at times will be the one for her to frustrate her anger.
Is it because I am her bf and somehow she is like this to me as in well she don’t have to hide her emotion or assuming I deserve it as being her bf to be.
I don’t really mind but well somehow or rather, I feel sad and heartbroken, the word she says can be so harsh and mean.
As a bf, I am like having no place in her, or rather a failure to cheer her up.
Is my judgement wrong?
Well she is not really that bad, but well maybe too used to having a pamper life? Being treated like a princess?
She can be very adorable, really, seeing her smile, looking into her eye, you can feel the love in her.
I do not want a gf just for physical needs.
I want a gf who is proud of having me as her bf.
Am I having a problem in me too?
Am I not being understanding or devoted enough?
Am I not treating her and be sweet enough?
Am I not putting enough love in my action for her?
I guess this is my choice that I choose, and well love is all about patience.
Maybe is a way of protecting herself from harm and hurt.
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.
And well I feel that from her, at times I just wish the time will just stay there and don’t move.
Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside, that are why I am so gracious towards her and trying so hard to touch her and its all by my heart, willingly to do it for her, but I guess its human nature to complain, so writing is the best form I think. As I don’t really open myself much either.
Where love is, no room is too small.
At the end of the day, it make me worry, worry of losing her, worry she leave me for a cause or reason to be.
Worry she leave me course she choose not to face it. So allot of times I choose to remain silent, worry she get angry, she choose not to think, she will just let go. I guess I really love her too much.
Hmm currently at work, nothing much to do, well still damm free, and the stupid boss like to give work during last min when about to knock off. Thinking about her and thinking how to improve my money flow. Hopping to find more satisfaction in life and get myself occupy. Working hard together with her.
I always hold myself very high, someone who know how to present myself, someone who is smart and quick in thinking, mature but someone who is a fool in love.
"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen,
<3 love you
Never in me to remain in silence to bear all the unhappiness in a relationship.
Not matter what happen, I can never be right and I m always wrong.
Not the least being considerate to me, sigh... same old problem.
She can be late while I cannot, she can do whatever she want, while me always to have her as the first priority.
Am I being taken for granted or well I am not good enough.
Whenever she is unhappy, it’s easier to get to know about it as a friend to be, but me at times will be the one for her to frustrate her anger.
Is it because I am her bf and somehow she is like this to me as in well she don’t have to hide her emotion or assuming I deserve it as being her bf to be.
I don’t really mind but well somehow or rather, I feel sad and heartbroken, the word she says can be so harsh and mean.
As a bf, I am like having no place in her, or rather a failure to cheer her up.
Is my judgement wrong?
Well she is not really that bad, but well maybe too used to having a pamper life? Being treated like a princess?
She can be very adorable, really, seeing her smile, looking into her eye, you can feel the love in her.
I do not want a gf just for physical needs.
I want a gf who is proud of having me as her bf.
Am I having a problem in me too?
Am I not being understanding or devoted enough?
Am I not treating her and be sweet enough?
Am I not putting enough love in my action for her?
I guess this is my choice that I choose, and well love is all about patience.
Maybe is a way of protecting herself from harm and hurt.
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.
And well I feel that from her, at times I just wish the time will just stay there and don’t move.
Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside, that are why I am so gracious towards her and trying so hard to touch her and its all by my heart, willingly to do it for her, but I guess its human nature to complain, so writing is the best form I think. As I don’t really open myself much either.
Where love is, no room is too small.
At the end of the day, it make me worry, worry of losing her, worry she leave me for a cause or reason to be.
Worry she leave me course she choose not to face it. So allot of times I choose to remain silent, worry she get angry, she choose not to think, she will just let go. I guess I really love her too much.
Hmm currently at work, nothing much to do, well still damm free, and the stupid boss like to give work during last min when about to knock off. Thinking about her and thinking how to improve my money flow. Hopping to find more satisfaction in life and get myself occupy. Working hard together with her.
I always hold myself very high, someone who know how to present myself, someone who is smart and quick in thinking, mature but someone who is a fool in love.
"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen,
<3 love you
Monday, June 25, 2007
Weekend Over - So warm and beautiful...love is in the air!
Well back to work after a lovely weekend.
Tired but well feeling bliss.
Met her when she is back from Msia on SUnday, took a short nap over at her place then well off to my place.
Before to My place, we went to NTUC to get some dinner stuff.
A lovely evening having her around, the feeling about being in love is really so great.
Slacking at home, just the 2 of us, cooking up some light dinner, packing up her stuff and etc.
Watching TV together, having pillow talks, looking to her eye, so gently, feeling so warm, so peaceful, so blissful. I always remember our conversations, makes me smile.
So I've been really happy lately. I feel so fortunate and lucky. I can't complain!
Every each hectic work week, always looking forward for a nice weekend.
It's odd.. the feeling I get when she talks to me, about me, or even looks at me; I smile. If not outside, inside. Just knowing for a moment, I was on her mind.
I love her.
That's really the only explaination.
She's look happy. I guess i will not be the only one who sees it. I see a glow in her eyes, a smile on her face.. so truthful and it melts me. She's deserved this happiness for a long time. This love. And I hope with all of my heart it lasts.
Seeing her happy makes me feel .. lighter.
Tired but well feeling bliss.
Met her when she is back from Msia on SUnday, took a short nap over at her place then well off to my place.
Before to My place, we went to NTUC to get some dinner stuff.
A lovely evening having her around, the feeling about being in love is really so great.
Slacking at home, just the 2 of us, cooking up some light dinner, packing up her stuff and etc.
Watching TV together, having pillow talks, looking to her eye, so gently, feeling so warm, so peaceful, so blissful. I always remember our conversations, makes me smile.
So I've been really happy lately. I feel so fortunate and lucky. I can't complain!
Every each hectic work week, always looking forward for a nice weekend.
It's odd.. the feeling I get when she talks to me, about me, or even looks at me; I smile. If not outside, inside. Just knowing for a moment, I was on her mind.
I love her.
That's really the only explaination.
She's look happy. I guess i will not be the only one who sees it. I see a glow in her eyes, a smile on her face.. so truthful and it melts me. She's deserved this happiness for a long time. This love. And I hope with all of my heart it lasts.
Seeing her happy makes me feel .. lighter.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
23/06/07 - A date I remember
Hmm i have a nice friday and sat so far .. sO notty keke ...
Seeing her straight aFter work, then went to town for coffee .. nice moment ..then company her to VD for awhile then gO home to TMM keke.
There are no words to express the happiness i feel when having you by my side, in my hug.
I feel in my heart that our hearts have come to dwell together, as one.
Love you more today than I did yesterday, and I'll love you more tomorrow than I do today.I am forever yours as long as time allow ...
Cya ltr ..
Seeing her straight aFter work, then went to town for coffee .. nice moment ..then company her to VD for awhile then gO home to TMM keke.
There are no words to express the happiness i feel when having you by my side, in my hug.
I feel in my heart that our hearts have come to dwell together, as one.
Love you more today than I did yesterday, and I'll love you more tomorrow than I do today.I am forever yours as long as time allow ...
Cya ltr ..
Out of tHe BluE ...
Hmm well been talking so much about her, I guess maybe I should blog something out of the blue about my surrounding life and etc. But still wana tell her I miss her.
Well thinking about my surrounding, blessed to have her, and bliss to have some nice friends around, of course not to forget my those beloved sister (Hmm I have 5 sister now keke).
Friends really allot, but really trueful one really very few, but I am happy to have those few.
The life I want is really simple, having someone that I love, a few close nice friend, stable job for now .. As the time goes along, I guess the plan will change.
I guess I never did mention about my family before, because I always think and thought I don't have it, that’s' why I devoted so much in a relationship and treasure those who really care about me and I really feel it in my heart.
But I do know something, my dad do really does allot of things for me and along the years he is changing, becoming more understanding and adaptable.
My 2 real sister, well sad to say I seldom communicate with them but in my heart I do care for them allot, I think I concern for my those god sister more then them in a way.
At times really a failure, and really feeling bad for not able to guide my youngest sister well that cause her to be in this state now, I guess I do need to play a role in it.
Well will not be seeing her for sometime, and seeing my dad dropping tears over her, seeing the those white hair on him, really making me feel so sad, really sad ... asking myself what have I been doing, being a son, being a brother, I guess I did nothing for them.
This entire lesson for the past years, really drain me allot. In a way, make me more sensible, to understand allot of things.
Things I went thru make me to realize allot of things, to treasure and cherish what we have.
Always be trueful, no matter how bad things is, all I know I wana be happy.
The person I really miss most I guess will be my Mum, 14 years just pass like that, and this 14 years what have I been doing. From a young gangster, arrogant and well being native I should say, being hot temper, then reach another stage, the money temptation. Used to own a car to now not to even mention license also gone, and from 8 credit cards to well now bankruptcy.
Well one thing still around, my flat .. lol
But well at least I guess in my whole life, I did learn something out of something everytime to make me for what I am today.
Seeing all type of people from different phrases and stages.
Admitting to one mistake is easy but to understand the mistake and make changes is the way we should do.
In life, never be too arrogant, be humble, and learn to listen. Respect is to be earn and not give. Action always talks louder. Most important be truthful - There is within each of a desire to be right, think right, and act right. When we go against that desire we put a cancer in our conscience. The cancer grows and grows by eating away at our confidence. Avoid doing anything that will cause you to ask yourself, “Will I get caught? Will they find out? Will I get away with it?”
A person is a product of his own thoughts. Believe Big and grow big. And we will grow big.
Where success is concerned, people are not measured in inches, or pounds, or college degrees, or family background; they are measured by the size of their thinking. How big do we think determines the size of our accomplishments.
Success doesn’t mean you own this own that, have car ya ..
Seriously I am not as strong as what people see me, I guess I just know how to hold myself well and present myself well at times.
I just know no matter what I went though last time till now, every time I get better in doing something, coz I guess I do not wana be defeated.
Example relationship, I always knew how to make things better, and becoming more positive as the times goes along, but well I need support too.
Make a supreme effort to put only positive thoughts in your memory bank. Don’t let negative, self-deprecatory thoughts grow into mental monsters. Simply refuse to recall unpleasant events or situations - well easy say then done I guess but at least that’s' what we told ourselves.
Support will be a greater source coming from loves one, friends and etc.
Be a comfortable person so there is no strain in being with you and letting go certain issues and burden, be trueful and we be more happier.
My life from last till now is not easy, but I always believe I am not the worst, it’s just how we deal with it and to move out of this misery.
And hopefully I am doing the right way now, well love is always my biggest weakness, and I hope it don't fail me.
Still my motto, striving a balance in everything...
Last but not least - Hmm if u r reading this, well dated today 23/06/07 (May many more months to come along, loving u and doting u wholeheartedly.)
Friday, June 22, 2007
!0 days ltr ...
Sigh lots of thing happen in 10 days, being happy and being sad too .. Always told myself to stay positive .. And work hard .. but somehow or rather I already have the ans of what I m looking for.
Things happen so fast without any reason or being reasonable or well being logical too. At times I keep asking, is it being stupid to fall in love, to care and to concern for the one we love, and the ans I get, well coz I love her, I will do my part as a bf to be.
On one day, all the sudden, she just avoid again and well wana break up.
It really breaks my heart again ...
I would have never imagined I’d feel so much!I miss her and I cannot tell her nor for her just to have a talk with me.Worst of all I cannot tell myself to face it.
And whenever other feelings arise, like range, I cannot find peace and I ask myself why us, WHY THIS WAY, WHY NEVER again.
" You made that choice alone! Nobody asked me anything."
You told me before that with tears on my eyes. Now, if only I could convince my self that I was reasonable. If only I could silence the doubts that crowd my mind. If only, for one more time, I m not able to think.
I was waiting for her under her block for like 6 hours, Cold. so cold. my body and my heart shiver from the cold... wild thoughts running across my mind here and there during that day, really have the thought to end it somehow, ye stupid indeed but I’m really mentality tired somehow and after a long wait what I saw is a guy friend send her back, watching her from afar, sawing her reach her door step, switch on the light, on her com and hoping she will call but well it didn't happen.
After a few smoke, I went off home, somehow knowing she is home I m glad to see that in a way, and well tolding myself loving her can be in another method, even for me to cry alone, wishing for the best.
The next day all I knew, I m like a walking zombie, and well just wana get drunk and not think about it.
Somehow I knew that she is nearby me, and she sms me, giving me a hope of light, and she came over to find me, happy to see her and again hopping for the best.
Things end up pretty well after that, at times I just wish things to be more simple, be more truthful to ourselves and I guess by letting go certain burden and worries, it make us a more happy person. What can be more happy by having someone to love, someone by our side, a stable job coming by, working hard for the future, having nice friends around.
At times I really pei fu myself for being so optimistic at times and so positive and bearable towards her, I guess it take allot of effort and love to be to stand being criticized or scolded at a lot.
"It is very sad that it is so hard to connect with another being in a healthy, Loving way. It is very sad that so many of us have had to shut down our hearts and lock the romantic part of us away in a deep dark place within us."
Well I learn to ignore certain things but somehow I do not feel being recognizes as her bf in the public as this is how I feel. Simple little action, being loving and having fun, knowing to balance and handle things in a better manner seems to be so hard. Little action without being considerate about how I feel, online status being single and well I ask myself, why and what is the purpose of all this.
Friends get a better treatment, more benefit to gain ? Making use of others to gain something ?
Lots of question but in the end my love for her weight off everything, telling myself again time will show and action will prove myself to her one day.
I do know allot of things but choose to keep quiet, praying for her at one side, hopping the best for her and everything goes well for her, watching over her, taking care of her, making sure no one is bullying her and I guess that’s the role I can play my part for her for now .. even to stand aside and wishing the best for myself too.
The mood of me in a relationship is not how I feel about the relationship, but the unique combination of both people's feelings, reactions, beliefs, perceptions, thoughts about themselves, each other, and the circumstances coming together to form a mood.
Personally I think that honesty is always best, and I have been very honest to her. And MOST IMPORTANT IS COMMUNICATION BETWEEN 2 PERSONS.....
The purpose of a relationship is to support each other, through times of ups and downs … so in a way, I try my best to inspire myself, so that I can be a pillar to my dear love one … an inspiring passage …
This few days I have so many ideas in my mind, planning what to do for her, I wan her to be truely happy from her heart, and that’s my way of loving her using time and action to show and prove. Its not about how much I love her but how much love I put into action in loving her.
TODAY IS A GIFT
THAT'S WHY WE CALL IT PRESENT
TIME WAIT FOR NO ONE
I cherish for who she is and treasure every moment with her.
Just came back from her place, having dinner at her place, watching her doze off on my lap is the nicest thing to see her being so peaceful, having a good rest.
I wana say I m missing her now and well although just now I do hope she say something nice before I went off but well she is tired .. cumo James, keke.
Love her .. Always having her in my heart every single moment...
ps - Well not to 4get to those who stand by me .. just wana say thks, i do know everything from A to Z but well I m in love with her.
Things happen so fast without any reason or being reasonable or well being logical too. At times I keep asking, is it being stupid to fall in love, to care and to concern for the one we love, and the ans I get, well coz I love her, I will do my part as a bf to be.
On one day, all the sudden, she just avoid again and well wana break up.
It really breaks my heart again ...
I would have never imagined I’d feel so much!I miss her and I cannot tell her nor for her just to have a talk with me.Worst of all I cannot tell myself to face it.
And whenever other feelings arise, like range, I cannot find peace and I ask myself why us, WHY THIS WAY, WHY NEVER again.
" You made that choice alone! Nobody asked me anything."
You told me before that with tears on my eyes. Now, if only I could convince my self that I was reasonable. If only I could silence the doubts that crowd my mind. If only, for one more time, I m not able to think.
I was waiting for her under her block for like 6 hours, Cold. so cold. my body and my heart shiver from the cold... wild thoughts running across my mind here and there during that day, really have the thought to end it somehow, ye stupid indeed but I’m really mentality tired somehow and after a long wait what I saw is a guy friend send her back, watching her from afar, sawing her reach her door step, switch on the light, on her com and hoping she will call but well it didn't happen.
After a few smoke, I went off home, somehow knowing she is home I m glad to see that in a way, and well tolding myself loving her can be in another method, even for me to cry alone, wishing for the best.
The next day all I knew, I m like a walking zombie, and well just wana get drunk and not think about it.
Somehow I knew that she is nearby me, and she sms me, giving me a hope of light, and she came over to find me, happy to see her and again hopping for the best.
Things end up pretty well after that, at times I just wish things to be more simple, be more truthful to ourselves and I guess by letting go certain burden and worries, it make us a more happy person. What can be more happy by having someone to love, someone by our side, a stable job coming by, working hard for the future, having nice friends around.
At times I really pei fu myself for being so optimistic at times and so positive and bearable towards her, I guess it take allot of effort and love to be to stand being criticized or scolded at a lot.
"It is very sad that it is so hard to connect with another being in a healthy, Loving way. It is very sad that so many of us have had to shut down our hearts and lock the romantic part of us away in a deep dark place within us."
Well I learn to ignore certain things but somehow I do not feel being recognizes as her bf in the public as this is how I feel. Simple little action, being loving and having fun, knowing to balance and handle things in a better manner seems to be so hard. Little action without being considerate about how I feel, online status being single and well I ask myself, why and what is the purpose of all this.
Friends get a better treatment, more benefit to gain ? Making use of others to gain something ?
Lots of question but in the end my love for her weight off everything, telling myself again time will show and action will prove myself to her one day.
I do know allot of things but choose to keep quiet, praying for her at one side, hopping the best for her and everything goes well for her, watching over her, taking care of her, making sure no one is bullying her and I guess that’s the role I can play my part for her for now .. even to stand aside and wishing the best for myself too.
The mood of me in a relationship is not how I feel about the relationship, but the unique combination of both people's feelings, reactions, beliefs, perceptions, thoughts about themselves, each other, and the circumstances coming together to form a mood.
Personally I think that honesty is always best, and I have been very honest to her. And MOST IMPORTANT IS COMMUNICATION BETWEEN 2 PERSONS.....
The purpose of a relationship is to support each other, through times of ups and downs … so in a way, I try my best to inspire myself, so that I can be a pillar to my dear love one … an inspiring passage …
This few days I have so many ideas in my mind, planning what to do for her, I wan her to be truely happy from her heart, and that’s my way of loving her using time and action to show and prove. Its not about how much I love her but how much love I put into action in loving her.
TODAY IS A GIFT
THAT'S WHY WE CALL IT PRESENT
TIME WAIT FOR NO ONE
I cherish for who she is and treasure every moment with her.
Just came back from her place, having dinner at her place, watching her doze off on my lap is the nicest thing to see her being so peaceful, having a good rest.
I wana say I m missing her now and well although just now I do hope she say something nice before I went off but well she is tired .. cumo James, keke.
Love her .. Always having her in my heart every single moment...
ps - Well not to 4get to those who stand by me .. just wana say thks, i do know everything from A to Z but well I m in love with her.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Clueless ....
Well mood kind of lousy now, maybe i m tired i guess and pinning for someone ..
Feeling clueless .. wondering .. life just isn't always a fairy tale ..
You want to know what happiness is? It's waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, if not when she is lying peacefully beside you, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone's shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and involuntarily a grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn't get any better than this.
ps - If I had to choose between breathing and loving you, I would use my last breath to say, 'I love you
When you're not here something's missing; my smile .. Just always remember that even when we are apart I will be missing you .. like now lol ..
Feeling clueless .. wondering .. life just isn't always a fairy tale ..
You want to know what happiness is? It's waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, if not when she is lying peacefully beside you, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone's shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and involuntarily a grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn't get any better than this.
ps - If I had to choose between breathing and loving you, I would use my last breath to say, 'I love you
When you're not here something's missing; my smile .. Just always remember that even when we are apart I will be missing you .. like now lol ..
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Sat Night ...
I guess our character is defined by what we do, not what we say or believe.
Every choice we make helps define the kind of person we are choosing to be.
Recently i do alot of thinking again .. i guess i m really too free to be.
Right now, well slacking at home, wondering about upcoming monday job and wondering what is she doing now ... guess she is tired and so i think not gona disturd her, even though wish to hear from her.
Sense of security, i came across this acticle saying while surfing -
All animals owe their survival to the instinctual drives to flee, fight, feed, and reproduce (sometimes called the "Four F’s"). These primal drives have great impact on our lives. Humanity’s instinct to flee from danger has become today a search for security. We have a desire to feel safe at home, in the workplace, and in society. We want to know we are secure now and will continue to be in the future. Yet, such a search is an impossible dream. After all, the nature of life is change and uncertainty. So, those seeking stability are doomed to be frustrated. An awareness of the uncertainty of life leads to immobilization. We grow immobilized by fear. We become more frightened to live than to die. The American Psychiatrist Thomas Szasz describes the feelings many of us experience: "Men are afraid to rock the boat in which they hope to drift safely through life's currents, when, actually, the boat is stuck on a sandbar. They would be better off to rock the boat and try to shake it loose, or, better still, jump in the water and swim for the shore."
Not knowing how to cope with this misguided quest for security leads to a dull pervasive pain. It robs us of happiness. Sometimes we seek to numb the pain with addictions such as drinking, overeating, gambling, casual sex, taking drugs, or spending endless hours before the TV. Though these addictions offer temporary relief from the gnawing pain of uncertainty, they cause more chaos, more pain, and less happiness in our lives. Because of this, it is important to understand the true nature of security.
What is true security? It is not piles of money or guaranteed employment, but the inner strength to face, cope with, and adapt to any challenge that arises. True security is the understanding that life is insecure and the willingness to deal with whatever happens. Security depends less on how much we have and more on how much we can do without. Anthony Robbins describes it this way, "Most people never feel secure because they are always worried that they will lose their job, lose the money they already have, lose their spouse, lose their health, and so on. The only true security in life comes from knowing that every single day you are improving yourself in some way, that you are increasing the caliber of who you are and that you are valuable to your company, your friends, and towards your love one."
How do we develop a sense of security? Begin by accepting the nature of life, which is constant change and uncertainty. Next, don’t take shelter, but rejoice in the bombardment of chaos. Life is like white water rafting, chaotic, but exhilarating! It is exactly as Winston Churchill said: "Without a measureless and perpetual uncertainty, the drama of human life would be destroyed." The secret, then, is not to seek security, but to seek growth, adventure, and joy. We need insecurity to spur us on to bigger and better things. And we have no reason to complain, for as Helen Keller said, "God himself is not secure, having given man dominion over his work."
Since we cannot stabilize the world, it is necessary to stabilize ourselves. That’s the only way to achieve security. We do this by developing the right habits.
As security is equated with adaptability to change, it makes much sense to constantly stretch ourselves. We need to step out of our comfort zone and start doing all of those things we would like to do, but don’t because they make us uncomfortable. We need to stand up, face our fears, and laugh at them. Ha! Ha! Ha! Fear and security are incompatible, and the time to cultivate courage is now, before we need it.
When we stop viewing uncertainty as a threat and start recognizing it for the opportunity it is, everything changes. For as Brian Tracy wrote, "The more you seek security, the less of it you have. But the more you seek opportunity, the more likely it is that you will achieve the security that you desire." That is the paradox to remember and apply to our lives.
The followers of the ancient Tao Te Ching understand the nature of the world. By bending like the reed in the weed, they adapt to its changes, experiencing true security and serenity. They heed the words of Lao Tzu:
"Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people's approval
and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
That is the only path to serenity."
True security is based on the ability to cope with turmoil. But how do we gain that ability? By looking within. We can rely on our own inner strength. Within us dwells a Divine Spark. We can turn to It for comfort and share in Its Wisdom and Power. Although It cannot eliminate the uncertainty of life, It can bestow on us the confidence and faith to carry on.
I like the above saying .. interesting ..
Let’s not forget about the insecurities of others. For example, Princess of Wales Diana said, "I don't want expensive gifts; I don't want to be bought. I have everything I want. I just want someone to be there for me, to make me feel safe and secure." There are many people in your life that want to feel safe and secure, too. Your spouse, children, friends, coworkers, and strangers you meet on the street. Remember, no one you meet has a sense of security so strong that it cannot be improved by a few words from you. Be encouraging, accepting, understanding, and compassionate. Be a source of strength for others. Doesn’t the world grow more secure as we make others feel more so?
Let’s also use the winds of change that swirl around us as reminders to savor the present moment. For how do we know if we’ll be alive tomorrow? Because life is uncertain, the time to enjoy it, and the time to help others feel secure is NOW.
Hmm isn't the above saying make life sound more meaningful and well to handle things in a correct approach and manner.
For Her -
Well thankful for every little thing she does for me, like her strengths as well as her weaknesses, share her hopes and wish for the best for her, never intend to hurt her, be a shoulder to lean for her and cry on.
Hold her hand when things get rough, help her achieve and accomplish all her dreams, open up my heart to her, to experience new beginnings... <3
Every choice we make helps define the kind of person we are choosing to be.
Recently i do alot of thinking again .. i guess i m really too free to be.
Right now, well slacking at home, wondering about upcoming monday job and wondering what is she doing now ... guess she is tired and so i think not gona disturd her, even though wish to hear from her.
Sense of security, i came across this acticle saying while surfing -
All animals owe their survival to the instinctual drives to flee, fight, feed, and reproduce (sometimes called the "Four F’s"). These primal drives have great impact on our lives. Humanity’s instinct to flee from danger has become today a search for security. We have a desire to feel safe at home, in the workplace, and in society. We want to know we are secure now and will continue to be in the future. Yet, such a search is an impossible dream. After all, the nature of life is change and uncertainty. So, those seeking stability are doomed to be frustrated. An awareness of the uncertainty of life leads to immobilization. We grow immobilized by fear. We become more frightened to live than to die. The American Psychiatrist Thomas Szasz describes the feelings many of us experience: "Men are afraid to rock the boat in which they hope to drift safely through life's currents, when, actually, the boat is stuck on a sandbar. They would be better off to rock the boat and try to shake it loose, or, better still, jump in the water and swim for the shore."
Not knowing how to cope with this misguided quest for security leads to a dull pervasive pain. It robs us of happiness. Sometimes we seek to numb the pain with addictions such as drinking, overeating, gambling, casual sex, taking drugs, or spending endless hours before the TV. Though these addictions offer temporary relief from the gnawing pain of uncertainty, they cause more chaos, more pain, and less happiness in our lives. Because of this, it is important to understand the true nature of security.
What is true security? It is not piles of money or guaranteed employment, but the inner strength to face, cope with, and adapt to any challenge that arises. True security is the understanding that life is insecure and the willingness to deal with whatever happens. Security depends less on how much we have and more on how much we can do without. Anthony Robbins describes it this way, "Most people never feel secure because they are always worried that they will lose their job, lose the money they already have, lose their spouse, lose their health, and so on. The only true security in life comes from knowing that every single day you are improving yourself in some way, that you are increasing the caliber of who you are and that you are valuable to your company, your friends, and towards your love one."
How do we develop a sense of security? Begin by accepting the nature of life, which is constant change and uncertainty. Next, don’t take shelter, but rejoice in the bombardment of chaos. Life is like white water rafting, chaotic, but exhilarating! It is exactly as Winston Churchill said: "Without a measureless and perpetual uncertainty, the drama of human life would be destroyed." The secret, then, is not to seek security, but to seek growth, adventure, and joy. We need insecurity to spur us on to bigger and better things. And we have no reason to complain, for as Helen Keller said, "God himself is not secure, having given man dominion over his work."
Since we cannot stabilize the world, it is necessary to stabilize ourselves. That’s the only way to achieve security. We do this by developing the right habits.
As security is equated with adaptability to change, it makes much sense to constantly stretch ourselves. We need to step out of our comfort zone and start doing all of those things we would like to do, but don’t because they make us uncomfortable. We need to stand up, face our fears, and laugh at them. Ha! Ha! Ha! Fear and security are incompatible, and the time to cultivate courage is now, before we need it.
When we stop viewing uncertainty as a threat and start recognizing it for the opportunity it is, everything changes. For as Brian Tracy wrote, "The more you seek security, the less of it you have. But the more you seek opportunity, the more likely it is that you will achieve the security that you desire." That is the paradox to remember and apply to our lives.
The followers of the ancient Tao Te Ching understand the nature of the world. By bending like the reed in the weed, they adapt to its changes, experiencing true security and serenity. They heed the words of Lao Tzu:
"Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people's approval
and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
That is the only path to serenity."
True security is based on the ability to cope with turmoil. But how do we gain that ability? By looking within. We can rely on our own inner strength. Within us dwells a Divine Spark. We can turn to It for comfort and share in Its Wisdom and Power. Although It cannot eliminate the uncertainty of life, It can bestow on us the confidence and faith to carry on.
I like the above saying .. interesting ..
Let’s not forget about the insecurities of others. For example, Princess of Wales Diana said, "I don't want expensive gifts; I don't want to be bought. I have everything I want. I just want someone to be there for me, to make me feel safe and secure." There are many people in your life that want to feel safe and secure, too. Your spouse, children, friends, coworkers, and strangers you meet on the street. Remember, no one you meet has a sense of security so strong that it cannot be improved by a few words from you. Be encouraging, accepting, understanding, and compassionate. Be a source of strength for others. Doesn’t the world grow more secure as we make others feel more so?
Let’s also use the winds of change that swirl around us as reminders to savor the present moment. For how do we know if we’ll be alive tomorrow? Because life is uncertain, the time to enjoy it, and the time to help others feel secure is NOW.
Hmm isn't the above saying make life sound more meaningful and well to handle things in a correct approach and manner.
For Her -
Well thankful for every little thing she does for me, like her strengths as well as her weaknesses, share her hopes and wish for the best for her, never intend to hurt her, be a shoulder to lean for her and cry on.
Hold her hand when things get rough, help her achieve and accomplish all her dreams, open up my heart to her, to experience new beginnings... <3
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Juz Feel Like Writing ..
Came across something call what Blingee.com, well something that make your picture more interesting .. since i m free well juz do something out of my dear picture.
Nowaday things really getting more interesting, era changing.
Even people do change along with the enviroment too.
Right now feeling kind of patheic coz well i m broke dupz .. hate this feeling.
Wondering about my next job and wondering about the future.
Thinking about life and her .. don't know why i am always a thinker .. lol
Success is all about growing oneself, learning thru experince and strive for it.
USING EVERY ENCOUNTER AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO EVALUATE, COACH AND BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE..True ? Quite true i guess ..
To me love is always number one in my heart, don't know why .. actually i am not really as strong as i seems to be. Very emotion too... always find myself as a leader .. do know where my direction is but somehow lacking of something...
THinking back about my life for the past 10 years, what have i gain .. experince is the most previous i guess. And whawt have i lost, well alot ... status, youth, car, money and etc .. lol.
Well guess what i am reading, hmm i m reading How To Be a Good BF, keke ..
Do encounter some interesting point lol.
But well if were to ask me what it takes to be one, i guess i score 80 out of 100 already lol, most of the point i do understand.
All it takes is a little bit of practice and determination to do it. Willingness is the key for any man to learn how to be a good boyfriend ya.
Being true to oneself is an important part of the learning process in any aspect of life.
Nthing much for today, another day of slacking at home, letting the mind wonder, looking forward for alot of things and of coz wondering abt Her.
Well faster faster start work ... faster end month, faster get pay .. and pamper her and me .. keke .. at least i feel more secure with money around .. lol and also much more things i can do too .. ^_^
Nowaday things really getting more interesting, era changing.
Even people do change along with the enviroment too.
Right now feeling kind of patheic coz well i m broke dupz .. hate this feeling.
Wondering about my next job and wondering about the future.
Thinking about life and her .. don't know why i am always a thinker .. lol
Success is all about growing oneself, learning thru experince and strive for it.
USING EVERY ENCOUNTER AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO EVALUATE, COACH AND BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE..True ? Quite true i guess ..
To me love is always number one in my heart, don't know why .. actually i am not really as strong as i seems to be. Very emotion too... always find myself as a leader .. do know where my direction is but somehow lacking of something...
THinking back about my life for the past 10 years, what have i gain .. experince is the most previous i guess. And whawt have i lost, well alot ... status, youth, car, money and etc .. lol.
Well guess what i am reading, hmm i m reading How To Be a Good BF, keke ..
Do encounter some interesting point lol.
But well if were to ask me what it takes to be one, i guess i score 80 out of 100 already lol, most of the point i do understand.
All it takes is a little bit of practice and determination to do it. Willingness is the key for any man to learn how to be a good boyfriend ya.
Being true to oneself is an important part of the learning process in any aspect of life.
Nthing much for today, another day of slacking at home, letting the mind wonder, looking forward for alot of things and of coz wondering abt Her.
Well faster faster start work ... faster end month, faster get pay .. and pamper her and me .. keke .. at least i feel more secure with money around .. lol and also much more things i can do too .. ^_^
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Idling ..Wondering ..After a Nap
Well juz feel like writing, and been asking myself what it takes to be this or to do this.
I have never known what it takes. What does it take to be a good man? What does it take to be a good mate? Brother? Son? Student? Friend? I have NEVER known what it takes, but I am beginning to find out what it doesn't take... all i know is to be trueful to everything, to be for what i am and to love someone like her wholeheartly.
Just be sincere, honest, and trustworthy in all circumstances.
To be a good man, you don't have to be perfect. Actually, people would probably look at you like some alien if you were flawless. Mess up every once-in-a-while and say the wrong thing, because if you don't you are going to make everyone else look bad i guess. You don't have to always be right. People like it when you are wrong every now and then. It makes you look human and makes them feel a little better. Besides, if you work to make sure that you are never wrong, then you will just drive yourself insane... true ?
To be a good man, i think i don't have to always be happy, however. Even us strong men have to have our down days and on those days its nice to have someone there to listen to us. If it was a hard day at work, then get over it and go back tomorrow. If i guess i m broke and can't find out how to pay my bills, then find a way even if it means asking for help. If I love her and she simply doesn't reciprocate those feelings, then i guess love her anyways and try to move on .. well being positive.
I may not know what all it takes to be a good man, but I do know that I am trying to be one. I am trying to be a good man, mate, brother, son, and friend, and for right now that is going to have to do... trying to love her like no one does .. treasure and cherish for what i have around.
Hmm after a nap, it do make me feel better to think positive .. so well nothing is perfect, it only come with the intention to be one or well trying to fullfill one... to be happy, to be satisfy and to tackle what it come along.
Perfect to me i guess is happiness, and happiness is within our own hand to find.
Well work hard for what i m want, to make a better life for me, future and my partner.
Miss U my dear .. <3
I have never known what it takes. What does it take to be a good man? What does it take to be a good mate? Brother? Son? Student? Friend? I have NEVER known what it takes, but I am beginning to find out what it doesn't take... all i know is to be trueful to everything, to be for what i am and to love someone like her wholeheartly.
Just be sincere, honest, and trustworthy in all circumstances.
To be a good man, you don't have to be perfect. Actually, people would probably look at you like some alien if you were flawless. Mess up every once-in-a-while and say the wrong thing, because if you don't you are going to make everyone else look bad i guess. You don't have to always be right. People like it when you are wrong every now and then. It makes you look human and makes them feel a little better. Besides, if you work to make sure that you are never wrong, then you will just drive yourself insane... true ?
To be a good man, i think i don't have to always be happy, however. Even us strong men have to have our down days and on those days its nice to have someone there to listen to us. If it was a hard day at work, then get over it and go back tomorrow. If i guess i m broke and can't find out how to pay my bills, then find a way even if it means asking for help. If I love her and she simply doesn't reciprocate those feelings, then i guess love her anyways and try to move on .. well being positive.
I may not know what all it takes to be a good man, but I do know that I am trying to be one. I am trying to be a good man, mate, brother, son, and friend, and for right now that is going to have to do... trying to love her like no one does .. treasure and cherish for what i have around.
Hmm after a nap, it do make me feel better to think positive .. so well nothing is perfect, it only come with the intention to be one or well trying to fullfill one... to be happy, to be satisfy and to tackle what it come along.
Perfect to me i guess is happiness, and happiness is within our own hand to find.
Well work hard for what i m want, to make a better life for me, future and my partner.
Miss U my dear .. <3
Well Today is Tuesday 05/06/07 .. Current Mood - Happy Yet feeling disheartening ...
Time to update ya.
Well another lovely weekend... just slacking at home, doing some cooking... Enjoying the weekend with her...
Yesterday well happy to receive the news that I found a job, at least the dark day seems to be over and something to look forward to.
Went to fetch her from work, happy to see her and went for dinner at tampines mall.
Everything seems fine till don't no y she feel so pek chey and well angry I guess but don't know for what reason, lol.
Again feeling of disappointment and feeling disheartening ... Some how don't really feel my existent around. I guess maybe she is tired ba .. Well try to understand but deep in my heart, don't really feel good, wondering ...
Reach her home .. Well try to coax her, as usual, sitting in front of her com.
Then just let her be and let her cool down .. till a not so nice voice came into me, telling Me she is going out with her friend on Wednesday, this part is really getting on to me .. Y can't things be communicating in a nicer manner, never in my thought not to let her out with her friend or well to control her .. I wonder me this boyfriend in her heart really stands at where at times .. She going movie with her friend then I just say in a joking manner, all the while I wana see a movie and she never accompany me .. Then she says different lol .. Say she hate to tell someone where she is going and etc .. haiz human behavior is really weird at times.
For the whole night, I m like a scolding target board.
Till bedtime, well try to talk to her again. Deep in me, I really feel like tearing, feeling so disappointed. Then the topic abt my past relationship in WG, heh someone saying I am like one of my friends, flirting around till I met her ..
People who knew me, since when I did flirt around or should I say, when u don't know anything much of the inside story, pls do not comment. As For kate, I guess I don't deny I did try but things don't work out, she really can be a good friend but well not a good gf... and I did vex over her before and when I m with her, she is all i have and .. then came in Reen, well I guess she is another different case, she treat me too good during the time when I was down, and I guess that is not really love, did try too but I guess the feeling is not that deep either but instead out of gratitude and feeling that I owe her something... the feeling fade as the time goes along and is more like a companion. This 2 ger in my life, well all I can say I did try to love them but it just doesn’t work out ..and not right.. and both parties do agree on it. In what way and what things do I do to say I flirt around anyway ... base on my action and what did I do .. since when does u really see me with a gal so close together other then now... not even with them both ..
I guess I should feel glad that at least the someone is saying something nice or should I feel in another way at least she feel jealous and showing she do care.
I don't really bother by all this, but more concern towards her, or should I say I m worry and scare of losing her. For someone like her, I guess a little spark of bad things will make the whole story worst.
Time passes by so swiftly, we forget what gets us by, and We are not individuals
Though we think we live this way and miss out the things we need to treasure around us. Gossips are part of life to gain certain trust and are people whom they feel jealous of and not having it... i guess i m too high profile ..
Well I do know something in her, again I can feel it but well time and trust is still the factor for me to gain it in her.
Well one thing I guess, she is bad at analyze thing and well mind don't really change that fast either. Stubborn still and not being flexible, to understand certain things... None of us like to be controlled I guess but there is a different to show mutual respect as I do care compare to being control in a way of reporting and restricting.
Way of action and approach do reflect wat types of person are we for people who do care and really understand. I want the best for her and hope one day she will understand.. again way of communication, allot people do not aware the importance in it. I guess it takes letting my heart be broken by her and Learning to live with it, using my previous heart to show her.
To fall in love so deeply again it takes incredible trust, and this is something missing in her. "The only way I'll ever deserve her is to try as hard as I can everyday to stretch myself so far beyond myself I'll become more than I ever dreamed I could be."
We've all had our moments when our behavior has been less than considerate. Next time you feel the urge to be rude, inconsiderate or to jump to conclusions, stop yourself. Take a deep breath and ask, "What would be a more loving response to this situation?" That doesn't mean that you allow others to walk all over you. You can speak the truth to people in a very matter of fact way, without being rude. Be considerate of others feelings and be willing to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Well Ice berg is really not that easy to melt anyway, but ice berg does cool down at times and thx for trying more ..
Enjoy life no matter how difficult it may have been or how challenging I may perceive it to be, and to reach my objective, to have a balance.. Well at least a new upcoming job is something I look forward to fulfill my balance.
Well another lovely weekend... just slacking at home, doing some cooking... Enjoying the weekend with her...
Yesterday well happy to receive the news that I found a job, at least the dark day seems to be over and something to look forward to.
Went to fetch her from work, happy to see her and went for dinner at tampines mall.
Everything seems fine till don't no y she feel so pek chey and well angry I guess but don't know for what reason, lol.
Again feeling of disappointment and feeling disheartening ... Some how don't really feel my existent around. I guess maybe she is tired ba .. Well try to understand but deep in my heart, don't really feel good, wondering ...
Reach her home .. Well try to coax her, as usual, sitting in front of her com.
Then just let her be and let her cool down .. till a not so nice voice came into me, telling Me she is going out with her friend on Wednesday, this part is really getting on to me .. Y can't things be communicating in a nicer manner, never in my thought not to let her out with her friend or well to control her .. I wonder me this boyfriend in her heart really stands at where at times .. She going movie with her friend then I just say in a joking manner, all the while I wana see a movie and she never accompany me .. Then she says different lol .. Say she hate to tell someone where she is going and etc .. haiz human behavior is really weird at times.
For the whole night, I m like a scolding target board.
Till bedtime, well try to talk to her again. Deep in me, I really feel like tearing, feeling so disappointed. Then the topic abt my past relationship in WG, heh someone saying I am like one of my friends, flirting around till I met her ..
People who knew me, since when I did flirt around or should I say, when u don't know anything much of the inside story, pls do not comment. As For kate, I guess I don't deny I did try but things don't work out, she really can be a good friend but well not a good gf... and I did vex over her before and when I m with her, she is all i have and .. then came in Reen, well I guess she is another different case, she treat me too good during the time when I was down, and I guess that is not really love, did try too but I guess the feeling is not that deep either but instead out of gratitude and feeling that I owe her something... the feeling fade as the time goes along and is more like a companion. This 2 ger in my life, well all I can say I did try to love them but it just doesn’t work out ..and not right.. and both parties do agree on it. In what way and what things do I do to say I flirt around anyway ... base on my action and what did I do .. since when does u really see me with a gal so close together other then now... not even with them both ..
I guess I should feel glad that at least the someone is saying something nice or should I feel in another way at least she feel jealous and showing she do care.
I don't really bother by all this, but more concern towards her, or should I say I m worry and scare of losing her. For someone like her, I guess a little spark of bad things will make the whole story worst.
Time passes by so swiftly, we forget what gets us by, and We are not individuals
Though we think we live this way and miss out the things we need to treasure around us. Gossips are part of life to gain certain trust and are people whom they feel jealous of and not having it... i guess i m too high profile ..
Well I do know something in her, again I can feel it but well time and trust is still the factor for me to gain it in her.
Well one thing I guess, she is bad at analyze thing and well mind don't really change that fast either. Stubborn still and not being flexible, to understand certain things... None of us like to be controlled I guess but there is a different to show mutual respect as I do care compare to being control in a way of reporting and restricting.
Way of action and approach do reflect wat types of person are we for people who do care and really understand. I want the best for her and hope one day she will understand.. again way of communication, allot people do not aware the importance in it. I guess it takes letting my heart be broken by her and Learning to live with it, using my previous heart to show her.
To fall in love so deeply again it takes incredible trust, and this is something missing in her. "The only way I'll ever deserve her is to try as hard as I can everyday to stretch myself so far beyond myself I'll become more than I ever dreamed I could be."
We've all had our moments when our behavior has been less than considerate. Next time you feel the urge to be rude, inconsiderate or to jump to conclusions, stop yourself. Take a deep breath and ask, "What would be a more loving response to this situation?" That doesn't mean that you allow others to walk all over you. You can speak the truth to people in a very matter of fact way, without being rude. Be considerate of others feelings and be willing to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Well Ice berg is really not that easy to melt anyway, but ice berg does cool down at times and thx for trying more ..
Enjoy life no matter how difficult it may have been or how challenging I may perceive it to be, and to reach my objective, to have a balance.. Well at least a new upcoming job is something I look forward to fulfill my balance.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
My Dear .. well there u gO ..
In My relationship life.. Well never met a ger like her that gives me so many headaches... but still I loVe Her .. y ?
She does have her good side, her adorable side, her notty side .. and well indenpendant, stubborn, attidude and well always wana Win .. and No matter how much she complain, I guess she do have a strong will, hard when say but actually quite soft in heart, just due to well certain shadow in her life .. filial to parents too ..
BUt well I guess Some of her character in her is already like mould into her .. I guess it take some time for her to understand ...
WeLL more for her to see and to understand the way of life I guess and also to improve on way of communication and way of approach .. but well I juz always give in to her .. hopefully one day she will understand my kind intention and oF coz due to I lOve her.
Although just been together with not long but as the times goes, getting to understand her more, my whole perspective on her changed. She doesn't deserve all this crap for her life but she is able to put up with it anyway using her own way of style. (Well NOt really the right approach at times I would say)....she has a great voice....and she is the biggest sweetheart ever when Well she is not that stress and negative .. She Is So notty and cute that u cannot imagine keke.
No matter what she does, she is always EXTREMLY pretty to Me ..
I Have learn to see her expression, her action and etc, She Can be real fierce and attidude, never in my life, a GF like her, Not say previous Gf is 100% good but well i guess i never being so tolerant and so understanding, and well to learn to Appreciate her more and keep taking things positive .. although I wish one day she do improve and I guess I do need my most trueful heart to melt her ..
There is no explanation as to why we love certain people but look at some Quote and at times it do give us a better reason.
The best and most beautiful things in the world can't be seen, not touched... but are felt in the heart.
When u love someone, I guess i just don't love her for her cute smile.. i just don't love her for the way she holds me nor the way she kiss me .. i just don't love her for how she make me happy. Or how she speaks my name. its not about how she make love to me . Loving her just for who she is..Its what she does good or bad i just take her as she is.. My heart did not beat for her for a reason.it just loved her ..Like that,,, Cuz its not a just one reason nor three or four its just many tiny things making who she is..just love her for who she is....I say to u I love u for better or worse I love u for what u do and what u say being bad or good is nothing as long that I am with u.. heh .. but well nothing is perfect, nothing is so great at times, as long as we r clear to what we r doing, loving someone wholeheartly, having a objectives, working hard together to make things happen ...
<3 Love U ..
She does have her good side, her adorable side, her notty side .. and well indenpendant, stubborn, attidude and well always wana Win .. and No matter how much she complain, I guess she do have a strong will, hard when say but actually quite soft in heart, just due to well certain shadow in her life .. filial to parents too ..
BUt well I guess Some of her character in her is already like mould into her .. I guess it take some time for her to understand ...
WeLL more for her to see and to understand the way of life I guess and also to improve on way of communication and way of approach .. but well I juz always give in to her .. hopefully one day she will understand my kind intention and oF coz due to I lOve her.
Although just been together with not long but as the times goes, getting to understand her more, my whole perspective on her changed. She doesn't deserve all this crap for her life but she is able to put up with it anyway using her own way of style. (Well NOt really the right approach at times I would say)....she has a great voice....and she is the biggest sweetheart ever when Well she is not that stress and negative .. She Is So notty and cute that u cannot imagine keke.
No matter what she does, she is always EXTREMLY pretty to Me ..
I Have learn to see her expression, her action and etc, She Can be real fierce and attidude, never in my life, a GF like her, Not say previous Gf is 100% good but well i guess i never being so tolerant and so understanding, and well to learn to Appreciate her more and keep taking things positive .. although I wish one day she do improve and I guess I do need my most trueful heart to melt her ..
There is no explanation as to why we love certain people but look at some Quote and at times it do give us a better reason.
The best and most beautiful things in the world can't be seen, not touched... but are felt in the heart.
When u love someone, I guess i just don't love her for her cute smile.. i just don't love her for the way she holds me nor the way she kiss me .. i just don't love her for how she make me happy. Or how she speaks my name. its not about how she make love to me . Loving her just for who she is..Its what she does good or bad i just take her as she is.. My heart did not beat for her for a reason.it just loved her ..Like that,,, Cuz its not a just one reason nor three or four its just many tiny things making who she is..just love her for who she is....I say to u I love u for better or worse I love u for what u do and what u say being bad or good is nothing as long that I am with u.. heh .. but well nothing is perfect, nothing is so great at times, as long as we r clear to what we r doing, loving someone wholeheartly, having a objectives, working hard together to make things happen ...
<3 Love U ..
JoBs .. hmm
I have a good feeling coming along i guess ..
Well m glad she do have a nice job to keep her occupy for now ..
LoVe U ..
Well m glad she do have a nice job to keep her occupy for now ..
LoVe U ..
lOst In tHe MiDdle oF nO wHere
At times, certain things seem so simple but yet it become so complicated, I care just as much for the her welfare and fulfillment as I do for my own. Story seems to be different every single day, plot changing, scenario changing, everything just change within a second..
Does a person who tends to hate their life so much, blaming and living in the shadow of the past make their life so miserable ? Or well excuses of not facing it .. Having a shoulder to cry on when our burdens are too heavy to bear alone is not really that hard .. But how many person deep in their heart do know to treasure and cherish, moving on with clear objectives and do know what they want in life together with the right one .. Fate, happiness is within our own hand to achieve .. And what is real happiness .. Something that I laugh and smile from my heart, and money is sure not the main factor but still it is a side factor... even Rome don't built in 7 days either lol ...
Human r always self contradicting I guess ...
Well who to blame .. the environment, the bastard and etc lol ...spoilt market ya ..
Me too being living in the shadow that’s y I been trying to break free and never to live in that shadow and let it control me.
The quality of the time spent with each other is as important as the quantity I guess, Understand that people can be great actors. We all tend to play games with one another, to appear to be what we are not... heh tiring lol ..
The day before yesterday we were still having coffee ..chatting around .. and well yesterday it just changes again lol .. thought we already have a plan for today to go watch movie .. till now I keep hoping she will call or sms lol .. Is Communication really that hard ? I never meant to control, but well out of mutual respect and concern is my point ...
Love do have interesting facts, it has an organizing and a constructive effect on your personality. It brings out the best in you. There is an intense and satisfying feeling of greater self-realization and expression, as well as a feeling of having one's own personality reinforced and strengthened and enriched. Love gives you new energy and ambition, and more interest in life. It is creative, brings an eagerness to grow, to improve, to work for worthy purposes and ideals. Love is associated with feelings of self-confidence, trust and security. Love lifted you to new levels of maturity and responsible action. When you love a person you make an effort to be more deserving of the beloved. You want your beloved to be proud of you, so you try harder. Life has more purpose. You make plans and save for the future. Life takes on new meaning, more sparkle... well sound abit meaningless for now lol.
Tragedy may have robbed me of my beloved before. In spite of the pain of loss, I still likely to be a better person for having had love. I can better understand myself and be better prepared for finding success in my future relationships. Be more mature and grew through love experience, and that growth will not all wither away. Whatever happened, love does have an organizing and constructive effect on one personality... well stay positive .. but haiz I guess time will always be the best judge around... Time is the infatuated person's best friend. It is both the great revealer and the great healer.
Our minds can talk about love, but they can't actually experience love. Love can only be experienced through feeling, but well y people don't treasure the feeling .. dupz.
Haiz .. I just realize my heart is not with me now .. somewhere with someone .. :(
Does a person who tends to hate their life so much, blaming and living in the shadow of the past make their life so miserable ? Or well excuses of not facing it .. Having a shoulder to cry on when our burdens are too heavy to bear alone is not really that hard .. But how many person deep in their heart do know to treasure and cherish, moving on with clear objectives and do know what they want in life together with the right one .. Fate, happiness is within our own hand to achieve .. And what is real happiness .. Something that I laugh and smile from my heart, and money is sure not the main factor but still it is a side factor... even Rome don't built in 7 days either lol ...
Human r always self contradicting I guess ...
Well who to blame .. the environment, the bastard and etc lol ...spoilt market ya ..
Me too being living in the shadow that’s y I been trying to break free and never to live in that shadow and let it control me.
The quality of the time spent with each other is as important as the quantity I guess, Understand that people can be great actors. We all tend to play games with one another, to appear to be what we are not... heh tiring lol ..
The day before yesterday we were still having coffee ..chatting around .. and well yesterday it just changes again lol .. thought we already have a plan for today to go watch movie .. till now I keep hoping she will call or sms lol .. Is Communication really that hard ? I never meant to control, but well out of mutual respect and concern is my point ...
Love do have interesting facts, it has an organizing and a constructive effect on your personality. It brings out the best in you. There is an intense and satisfying feeling of greater self-realization and expression, as well as a feeling of having one's own personality reinforced and strengthened and enriched. Love gives you new energy and ambition, and more interest in life. It is creative, brings an eagerness to grow, to improve, to work for worthy purposes and ideals. Love is associated with feelings of self-confidence, trust and security. Love lifted you to new levels of maturity and responsible action. When you love a person you make an effort to be more deserving of the beloved. You want your beloved to be proud of you, so you try harder. Life has more purpose. You make plans and save for the future. Life takes on new meaning, more sparkle... well sound abit meaningless for now lol.
Tragedy may have robbed me of my beloved before. In spite of the pain of loss, I still likely to be a better person for having had love. I can better understand myself and be better prepared for finding success in my future relationships. Be more mature and grew through love experience, and that growth will not all wither away. Whatever happened, love does have an organizing and constructive effect on one personality... well stay positive .. but haiz I guess time will always be the best judge around... Time is the infatuated person's best friend. It is both the great revealer and the great healer.
Our minds can talk about love, but they can't actually experience love. Love can only be experienced through feeling, but well y people don't treasure the feeling .. dupz.
Haiz .. I just realize my heart is not with me now .. somewhere with someone .. :(
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Hmm well wat r we doing now ?
Hmm in my own little hut, she is cooking and i m watching keke ... went to bought some food, bacon, ham, hot dogs, soup and lots of other things but most important is the effort and the heart ... hee ..
HOw nice right .. it be even nicer if i have a job, having a balance in everything, standing by her, friends, family and etc .. well thats my goal .. towards a healthy relationship, a balance in every aspect of life... and of coz with a career to fulfill all this.
Hmm sure continue ltr
HOw nice right .. it be even nicer if i have a job, having a balance in everything, standing by her, friends, family and etc .. well thats my goal .. towards a healthy relationship, a balance in every aspect of life... and of coz with a career to fulfill all this.
Hmm sure continue ltr
Sunshine After Rain ...
At times i wonder is it due to my thick skin, worry to make a mistake, or my belief to love someone means not to give up so easy, as nothing is perfect .. and i really don't wish something unmeaning less to spotlit it. Coz i guess i believe in her for all the things she told me ... I m glad and i guess next time i should observe more of my action till one day she will fully fall in love with me i guess ..
SOmeone Say wana go market to buy things to cook for me keke but well she is still sleeping so soundly now and i guess she do need the rest, can't bear to wake her up too... keke
Watching by her sleeping, her adorable face, cheeky smile really fill up my heart with happiness ... hugging her closely bring a kind of warm feeling and looking into her eyes, saying i will never let u go.
I pray for her, wish for her nothing but happiness, wishing her for all the best companion in her life to be. And i promise her whatever i have say before.
Sitting by the bed, watching tv, hugging her, well what would i still be asking for .. so loving, so happy ... having small talks heart to heart ... an undesirable feeling in me, loving her is my greatest, having her is a blessing, to understand her is an effort .. to watch by her is my job .. all i wana do is to love her wholeheartedly, working hard for my future together with her.
I Love u my dear ... well waiting for u to wake up now keke :P
SOmeone Say wana go market to buy things to cook for me keke but well she is still sleeping so soundly now and i guess she do need the rest, can't bear to wake her up too... keke
Watching by her sleeping, her adorable face, cheeky smile really fill up my heart with happiness ... hugging her closely bring a kind of warm feeling and looking into her eyes, saying i will never let u go.
I pray for her, wish for her nothing but happiness, wishing her for all the best companion in her life to be. And i promise her whatever i have say before.
Sitting by the bed, watching tv, hugging her, well what would i still be asking for .. so loving, so happy ... having small talks heart to heart ... an undesirable feeling in me, loving her is my greatest, having her is a blessing, to understand her is an effort .. to watch by her is my job .. all i wana do is to love her wholeheartedly, working hard for my future together with her.
I Love u my dear ... well waiting for u to wake up now keke :P
Friday, May 25, 2007
24/05/07 @ MOS Hugo Event
Yesterday seems so well and yet something happen today to cause a misunderstanding, and given her character and the shadow she went through before gona make this thing to become so so much worst.
And it really break my heart, or should I say I m not doing a good job.
Today for nothing, being unreasonable and well not understanding for the thing I do for her, even not much, but every action, my thoughts is always to think for her, worry for her.
Till today, I been staying very positive and with determination to strike harder for a better future, but feeling so tired and heartbreak when she don't even understand it and wanted to break up with me.
Firstly, a misunderstanding that never happen for what I know, and I don't even know who the ger is, even I knew, I guess I never do anything really bad before in my whole life till now, so I dare to say. But a misunderstanding, and without clarifying and understanding tend to make things worst.
It really spoilt my whole day but well still trying to finish up all my job and hide like nothing happen. Till I start drinking, I become Emo, and in my heart, so much I wana see her, thoughts running wild in me, and where is she when I needed her most. Yes I do understand her attitude and way of approach but well is that the right thing to sort out problem. But well I never blame her at all, coz well I know somehow she is not facing it and afraid to face it but I just can't help thinking rubbish and be so bloody negative at the moment, really drink drank drunk.
I always believe in her cos I see the good side of her before, her side of being most trueful, adorable, having a relax and clam mind. But I do know she is afraid and I guess I choose this way and I have to accept it.
I send her tons of sms and not even one is being responded back, then gets to know some guy send her back, and well how would I think this time .. sigh ...
Well a horrible night, first time in my life to be so drunk and vomit don't how many times in there ... heart crack .. but still pinning for her.
Lost really lost ... I did told myself to think sensible, as I m clear to what I m doing to my heart, but I guess I fall again, always my weakness.
I think at this time, nothing worry more other then her, really missing her.
And wondering what should I do, is letting go really an option or a choice for her to be more happy ... is the promises we make are all so fake and invaluable ? Sigh ..
And it really break my heart, or should I say I m not doing a good job.
Today for nothing, being unreasonable and well not understanding for the thing I do for her, even not much, but every action, my thoughts is always to think for her, worry for her.
Till today, I been staying very positive and with determination to strike harder for a better future, but feeling so tired and heartbreak when she don't even understand it and wanted to break up with me.
Firstly, a misunderstanding that never happen for what I know, and I don't even know who the ger is, even I knew, I guess I never do anything really bad before in my whole life till now, so I dare to say. But a misunderstanding, and without clarifying and understanding tend to make things worst.
It really spoilt my whole day but well still trying to finish up all my job and hide like nothing happen. Till I start drinking, I become Emo, and in my heart, so much I wana see her, thoughts running wild in me, and where is she when I needed her most. Yes I do understand her attitude and way of approach but well is that the right thing to sort out problem. But well I never blame her at all, coz well I know somehow she is not facing it and afraid to face it but I just can't help thinking rubbish and be so bloody negative at the moment, really drink drank drunk.
I always believe in her cos I see the good side of her before, her side of being most trueful, adorable, having a relax and clam mind. But I do know she is afraid and I guess I choose this way and I have to accept it.
I send her tons of sms and not even one is being responded back, then gets to know some guy send her back, and well how would I think this time .. sigh ...
Well a horrible night, first time in my life to be so drunk and vomit don't how many times in there ... heart crack .. but still pinning for her.
Lost really lost ... I did told myself to think sensible, as I m clear to what I m doing to my heart, but I guess I fall again, always my weakness.
I think at this time, nothing worry more other then her, really missing her.
And wondering what should I do, is letting go really an option or a choice for her to be more happy ... is the promises we make are all so fake and invaluable ? Sigh ..
23/5/07 Happy One Month ..
Hmm well even though its only 1 month but well its like so long, wishing along and hope for more to come.
Give her a surprise, send her a bouquet of flower. So many plans in my mind but well kind of limited time and cash flow for now lol. But well all the effort sincerly come wholeheartly, and hope she like it.
First time hearing her saying sorry so sweetly, again make me to be more understanding and broad minded. I guess i still need more time to grasp her action and understand it... lol. Bed time story being good as usual, keke.
I juz wana her to know, i love her for what she is but i guess certain things need some changes to improve and i guess not even in r/s but how we gona handle things and to gain more respect.
Loving her is my choice, and to be angry is coz i care, i choose to walk this path and i told myself time will be the best judge.
Hope u do enjoy the day. maucks.
Give her a surprise, send her a bouquet of flower. So many plans in my mind but well kind of limited time and cash flow for now lol. But well all the effort sincerly come wholeheartly, and hope she like it.
First time hearing her saying sorry so sweetly, again make me to be more understanding and broad minded. I guess i still need more time to grasp her action and understand it... lol. Bed time story being good as usual, keke.
I juz wana her to know, i love her for what she is but i guess certain things need some changes to improve and i guess not even in r/s but how we gona handle things and to gain more respect.
Loving her is my choice, and to be angry is coz i care, i choose to walk this path and i told myself time will be the best judge.
Hope u do enjoy the day. maucks.
Monday, May 21, 2007
My Current Mood ...
Well stress ..really very stress .. so many things i wana do for her but well limited .. feeling damm vex .. and just having a feeling to drop down ...
I juz hope to have some motivation, at times i feel it and have it, but well it come falling down again
Well just hope i get occupy soon and well be my positive me back soon ...
Even right now .. hoping for a little comfort.
I guess even loser get a consolation prize at times ... even right now, i just hope to have a little nice talk, wana see her get more rest, but i guess some other stuff seems more important to her ... so much things i do hope she understand how i feel, and seriously speaking i don't dare to ask alot .. but i guess at times its my fault for being too demanding ? or well craving for more ? I guess i m lacking some self confident now ..
Well i do hope 1 day i will prove my worth in terms of love and work ...
Miss u allot my dear ...
I juz hope to have some motivation, at times i feel it and have it, but well it come falling down again
Well just hope i get occupy soon and well be my positive me back soon ...
Even right now .. hoping for a little comfort.
I guess even loser get a consolation prize at times ... even right now, i just hope to have a little nice talk, wana see her get more rest, but i guess some other stuff seems more important to her ... so much things i do hope she understand how i feel, and seriously speaking i don't dare to ask alot .. but i guess at times its my fault for being too demanding ? or well craving for more ? I guess i m lacking some self confident now ..
Well i do hope 1 day i will prove my worth in terms of love and work ...
Miss u allot my dear ...
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Our WeekEnd ...
Things have been getting along quite well, love those pillow talks on the 2 nights, and I can feel that she is improving and showing .. The only time we really feel no borders around us ... being more understanding and able to communicate.
I do love her honestly from my heart, and being very understanding, hoping to prove my worth and melt her one day.
Seeing her so tired and well not getting enough rest tend to tear my heart, wana her to have more rest but well knowing her pattern too well, I guess I choose to keep quiet at times.
She was preparing for her race queen contest, and was glad able to do my part as a bf for her, and of coz supporting her.
And well today, Sunday (20/05/07), her day for the contest and presentation, and well me also make my way down just for her, partially also to talk business.
BUt then it reminds me of something of what she told me .. Not to disclose her as attach, me as her bf, at first, I don't really tend to link up with this or well never even think of it, to me work is work .. But then she mentions it, make me well kind of wander around my thoughts .. Even though I do understand why but the thing is .. she mention it and make it too particular about it, making me feel kind of demoralize ... maybe again if she put it in a nicer manner, I guess it be better, but well I told myself not to think about it and of course to stay by her and hopefully one day she understand my intention.
Then well after finish talking business, I was walking around the area, hopping to find more other sources in term of work, but then well it get boring but well happy to see her around when she is on stage, feeling proud for her and when the ans is being ask, its like well I do know what she gona say, make it a very sweet feeling.
After that I really do get bored, feeling neglected but well try to be understanding but the worst part is I feel I don't really feel comfortable or feel my existent there is needed, and so I choose to leave, as not to pressure her ba .. but how I wish and hope she will say something nice to me, and I will feel more comfortable, well the point is how busy can someone be, its about the thoughts and etc ... I dun feel the need in her.
So I reach office and was emo for like a few hours, listening to sad song, really feeling damm demoralize and stress and very very the mentality tired, listening to my profile song bring out a certain sadness, feeling the loneliness and etc .. But then again I told myself I have to be positive and that’s me, I should not let little things to pull me down.
Hopping she do call or sms, but the sms well was kind of bad from her, saying I m not understanding and I guess I do it the wrong way again, again all about the heart and etc.
And since the sms, really make me emo all way long, taking a walk by myself around orchard while they r doing the ticketing, no mood to talk to anyone, mind just all about her, hoping to coax her.
I was hoping she replies my sms and hoping will meet her later, worry she is hungry, wondering what she is doing.
At the end of the day, well having some talk with my friend they all, make me abit better but still feeling bad deep down, putting down my phone like 3 times and well I guess I really need to try a little harder to show my heart to her .. Well last but not least, for her I be patient I know deep down inside her, in a way she is rejecting me but she do have her nice side to me too :)
I love u my dear ...
Well alot things wana update for the past few week, well i will update soon :)
Thursday, May 17, 2007
My 1st Posting For You
The time now is 06.25am, I guess my dear now shd be awake, right now just wana have a page delicate to her.
I get to know her somewhere around March 07, I remember when the time I know her, her msn introduction is always kind of down, negative comment, dun really know her well during that time, but well just do my part to cheer her up ..
And so on the 29th Mar 07, I have an event there at MOS and that was the first time I met up with her but well due to my busy schedule, don’t really have the time to tok to her.
On the 20th April 07, well first date I would say, Watching movie 200 pounds beauty -
I get to know her somewhere around March 07, I remember when the time I know her, her msn introduction is always kind of down, negative comment, dun really know her well during that time, but well just do my part to cheer her up ..
And so on the 29th Mar 07, I have an event there at MOS and that was the first time I met up with her but well due to my busy schedule, don’t really have the time to tok to her.
On the 20th April 07, well first date I would say, Watching movie 200 pounds beauty -
200 Pounds Beauty (미녀는 괴로워) is a 2006 South Korean comedy. The story tells the tale about a large girl that undergoes an extreme makeover to become a pop singer.
And having coffee at starbucks going along with some chit chatting of course, and well I guess at that time I m really talkative hee, then head down to boat quay for some pub session, and at the pub well together with some other friends too and I bought a few DVD.
Well then on that day I become a lao gorilla, lol a nick by her to me saying I m hairy, lol.
And having coffee at starbucks going along with some chit chatting of course, and well I guess at that time I m really talkative hee, then head down to boat quay for some pub session, and at the pub well together with some other friends too and I bought a few DVD.
Well then on that day I become a lao gorilla, lol a nick by her to me saying I m hairy, lol.
And after this date, I guess we do develop a neutral feeling for each other, and I guess I m not too sure so still acting blur till she keep saying me benben keke.
On the 21st April 07, well I m heading down to Momo to met some of my friends there and knowing her she might be there, making me more wana go down after a long chat over msn, finally get to know she confirm going down :), saying to go down and see her gorilla have huai dan or not keke.
It was a fun night there together with her, running here and there, and of coz kana caught being jealous keke ... feeling is sweet, first time holding her hand, getting nearer to her, well happy together with her …
As the time goes, I get to know her better, knowing some of her problem, well so was thinking to guide her along and show her the way, like well to find a job and etc ... advising her what to do ... getting closer too but well I choose the date 23rd April 07 to be our official day being together.
The first time she addresses me as dear I guess .. also on this day, and well another new nick call Da Wu Gui haha .. also not to forget her nick is call Monkey keke .. and on this day she came over my place to look for me ...
HMm that will be the summary for now of the process how I get to know her till date today 17 May 07, well wana add in more detail and picture but I guess my brain now is malfunction, need to sleep ya, so for now, I just wana her to know I love her, from the bottom of my heart, accepting her and showing my heart to her, to assure my feeling and my love for her.
Oh ya just call her at 7 am but I guess as usual keke never hear bleah ..
On the 21st April 07, well I m heading down to Momo to met some of my friends there and knowing her she might be there, making me more wana go down after a long chat over msn, finally get to know she confirm going down :), saying to go down and see her gorilla have huai dan or not keke.
It was a fun night there together with her, running here and there, and of coz kana caught being jealous keke ... feeling is sweet, first time holding her hand, getting nearer to her, well happy together with her …
As the time goes, I get to know her better, knowing some of her problem, well so was thinking to guide her along and show her the way, like well to find a job and etc ... advising her what to do ... getting closer too but well I choose the date 23rd April 07 to be our official day being together.
The first time she addresses me as dear I guess .. also on this day, and well another new nick call Da Wu Gui haha .. also not to forget her nick is call Monkey keke .. and on this day she came over my place to look for me ...
HMm that will be the summary for now of the process how I get to know her till date today 17 May 07, well wana add in more detail and picture but I guess my brain now is malfunction, need to sleep ya, so for now, I just wana her to know I love her, from the bottom of my heart, accepting her and showing my heart to her, to assure my feeling and my love for her.
Oh ya just call her at 7 am but I guess as usual keke never hear bleah ..
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